Different Opinions

[Rose]

I got to thinking, due to the thread we recently had about the framing person.

When you are not a fan of what some one is stitching or painting or any other handmade product. When they show their work or you happen to see it when visiting how do you respond. I know I have seen things that do not appeal to me at all and yet I try to find words that will not harm the creator.

Something like "your work is really nice, you have put a lot of effort into that" Or "wow that must take a lot of talent/time to do" so what are some of the things you say to appreciate the persons work and yet not say you don't really care for it??????

[Pengwenn]

I always ask if they made it and start asking questions about the process. Like "how long did that take you" or "where did you learn how to do that" or something like that. I find that for most people they just want to talk about their craft and if they talk enough about it they forget that you haven't told them what you think about it. If they press for my opinion I state that I know how much time and effort goes in to making something and that and it's such a wonder family heirloom that can now be handed down from generation to generation and someone will get to say "my great great grandma made that". I try to praise the value of the item that it has made to their life and not whether it falls in my prefered taste or not. It might not mean anything to me but I means something to someone and that's want I try to focus on.

[Mystonique]

I tend to feel worse when people are nice for the sake of it than if they honestly say "I'm not keen on it" or "that's not really my thing".

But I'm conscious that I'm in the minority there. So I either say nothing or find something I can appreciate about it to comment on.

But everyone - PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SAY IT LIKE IT IS TO ME - because that makes me feel more comfortable than when you just be nice for niceness' sake.

[Allyn]

For me, there's a difference between not liking the subject matter they chose and not liking the actual execution of the craft. I genuinely share their joy in the execution, even if it has mistakes or I didn't like the fabric they chose or the seams aren't straight. I can still share their joy in doing it. If I'm asked to critique it, I will do so honestly and without malice. If I don't like the subject matter, that's really beside the point. So many times, even here in these forums, folks share their projects and I would never pick that chart/kit/whatever to do because I don't care for the subject, but they like it and that's all that really matters. I don't feel at all like I'm being insincere if I say, "You really did a nice job on that," or "That was a very thoughtful gift you made," because I genuinely think so even if I didn't like the subject."

I agree with Mystonique in that I don't want people to be insincerely nice. If I ask, "What do you think of this....." I am asking for honest opinions, but folks usually aren't asking for a critique. They just want to share the joy in what they made, and I'm happy to share that with them.

[LD282]

Well, not knowing anybody other than my mum that does crafty things (so far she has always done something I like) I'll base what I am about to say on this forum.

I would never say that I don't like what someone is stitching, everybody had different tastes, I am sure that there are people who don't like what I am stitching. Like Allyn, I enjoy seeing people progress even if I don't like what they are stitching and don't think I am being insincere or just being nice for the sake of it if I say that they are making good progress or it looks good because I genuinely do believe that and enjoy seeing it!!

[Cecilia]

For me, there's a difference between not liking the subject matter they chose and not liking the actual execution of the craft. I genuinely share their joy in the execution, even if it has mistakes or I didn't like the fabric they chose or the seams aren't straight. I can still share their joy in doing it. If I'm asked to critique it, I will do so honestly and without malice. If I don't like the subject matter, that's really beside the point. So many times, even here in these forums, folks share their projects and I would never pick that chart/kit/whatever to do because I don't care for the subject, but they like it and that's all that really matters. I don't feel at all like I'm being insincere if I say, "You really did a nice job on that," or "That was a very thoughtful gift you made," because I genuinely think so even if I didn't like the subject.

I think Allyn has summed it up very nicely.

[poppy]

I think Allyn has summed it up very nicely.

+1!

[bookknurd]

I agree with others that when it comes to choice of color, subject matter, material, etc, that is all just personal opinion anyway so there isn't really anything to critique (although if a friend is asking my opinion about a design choice, I will give my opinion then).

And I would never consider commenting on someone's skill level if it seemed "sub-par". For one thing, I have been doing this a short time and am not anywhere close to mastering any of the skills I use (stitching, knitting, sewing, etc) so who am I to comment? Not to mention, few people like unsolicited advice. I have met others in stitching groups or other crafting communities who are quick to point out how you could have done something better. While the information can be useful, more often it is just irksome, especially since I am the kind of crafter that accepts minor mistakes as they are and tries to learn from them for next time. I fix really bad mistakes, of course, but there are also those I leave as they are, because it's not worth it to me to rip them out.

So basically, I don't give my critique unless asked for.

[mauveme]

My stock response is "oh that's interesting" then ask how long it took, where did they get the idea etc. I wouldn't belittle anyone's attempt at crafting, it all takes time and effort , no one is perfect and not everyone has the same tastes. To each his own.

[rcperryls]

My stock response is "oh that's interesting" then ask how long it took, where did they get the idea etc. I wouldn't belittle anyone's attempt at crafting, it all takes time and effort , no one is perfect and not everyone has the same tastes. To each his own.

I agree! The stitching group I went to (I miss it soooo much) was wonderful in that everyone respected each other. Honest advice when asked for was given. Otherwise there is always something good to say or to show interest in what the other is doing. I hate it when someone begins a sentence with "If you would like some constructive criticism". Then I know I'm in for it.

Carole

[MaggieM1750]

I tend to feel worse when people are nice for the sake of it than if they honestly say "I'm not keen on it" or "that's not really my thing".

But I'm conscious that I'm in the minority there. So I either say nothing or find something I can appreciate about it to comment on.

But everyone - PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SAY IT LIKE IT IS TO ME - because that makes me feel more comfortable than when you just be nice for niceness' sake.

Yep, add me to your group.
I know that what I do is not everyones cup of tea. Subject matter, or even the stitching itself.
I am confident in what I do, and I have some pretty thick skin.
Not a lot sinks in.. especially not from some random person.
What do they know? They could have just started and think they know all there is.
They may be one of those rule sticklers that thinks there is only one way to work a pattern.
Regardless.. they are not going to be receiving whatever it is I'm working on.. so really, I don't care if they like it or not.

If you don't like it.. I'm fine with that.
If I'm doing something wrong.. tell me that as well.
It may start a discussion, I may learn a trick or two.. or I may just chuck your advice out the window and carry on doing what I am doing.
I am open to critiques.. because you never know who is out there.
A few quick back and forth questions, you can tell if they know what they are talking about or if they are full of doo-doo

If I am asked for my advice on a piece, I too would say.. well, its not my style.. and then focus on the creating aspect of whatever it is, rather than the design/craftsmanship of the piece itself. But I would be honest and say its not my taste.

[carolanne]

I am a firm believer in "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything."

[LastingAllure]

Everyone has different tastes. I know my like of fantasy, fairy tale and romance mixed together with antique style isn't everyone's cup of tea. But the important part is, you're creating things for yourself and loved ones. Even if I receive something that doesn't particularly appeal to my tastes or style I would still adore the time and energy put into a piece and find somewhere to display it. However I do tend to voice my likes and dislikes with my family and friends so they know what I would love and what doesn't appeal to me.

With that being said though there are some real gorgeous patterns done that I would never stitch for myself yet I can really admire the design and the work put into it.

Everyone is at different levels and everyone's fancy is tickled by different things. I am just happy we can all share in our love of a craft together and so thankful we have places we can get together and show off our work in the end all that is important is that people are enjoying their craft because it makes them happy.

[richardandtracy]

This can be a very difficult place to tread.

Some people have fragile confidence & it's not fair to damage it even if you don't like what they have done. In this case, it's probably better not to say anything if you can avoid it.

If the execution of the work is amazing, I try to say so.

If the aesthetic isn't to my style, but I can see it's well done, or has been done quickly, I try to say how impressed I am.

I have seen custom made fountain pens made from blanks that look like solidified mucus, and where possible I say something like 'While the blank is not to my taste, the design/workmanship [as appropriate] is amazing...'.

Regards,

Richard.

[destructiveernie]

I find it very difficult, particularly in Facebook groups when people post pictures of their finished self framed pieces because in some cases I just want to scream DO YOU NOT OWN AN IRON!!!!!!

In those circumstances I opt not to comment.

[curly sue]

I find it very difficult, particularly in Facebook groups when people post pictures of their finished self framed pieces because in some cases I just want to scream DO YOU NOT OWN AN IRON!!!!!!

In those circumstances I opt not to comment.

Every piece has something I can compliment. I know how you feel about the ironing!