2023 Quick Daily Posts

[fccs]

Congratulations, Richard. I think you’ll be great at the job and I’m sure the promotion was very well deserved. With all the longevity at the company, it must be a good place to work. I retired with 35 years at the police department (not a cop) and I was pretty pleased with that. Now I feel like a slacker.

[richardandtracy]

Yep, at only 27 years service under my belt, I still feel like the office junior!

Regards,

Richard.

[Mabel Figworthy]

First Certificate day class since last June tomorrow

[Serinde]

Hope it goes really well!

[rcperryls]

How exciting! Since you are 5 hours ahead of me, I hope you are in class (or will be soon) and having a wonderful time!

Carole

[Mabel Figworthy]

I stitched a bush

[Serinde]

Well done!!

[richardandtracy]

Is this one of those things that, as a bloke, I should pretend I didn't see?

Congratulations Mabel.

Regards,

Richard

[Mabel Figworthy]

Oh dear, I feel dense now, and slightly worried - what did I say that you as a bloke should have pretended not to see ?!?

[richardandtracy]

There are a number of times when I have my wife and daughters speak to each other in what seems to be a code designed to obscure things from my delicate sensibilities (or I come in half way through and can't make head nor tail of what is being talked about). I was - ham fistedly - trying to imply that you & Serinde seemed to be having an exchange that sounded a little similar. Ah well, some jokes fall flat due to lack of context. Sorry, just ignore me.

Regards,

Richard.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Last Saturday we got the news that a friend from church had suddenly and unexpectedly died. She leaves a husband and two young children. I'd had a lovely long chat with her only the Sunday before. We are still reeling.

Last year the family took in a Ukrainian lady and her daughter, who became very much part of the family, and of our church family as well. About a month ago she decided that she and her daughter needed to go back to Ukraine, just outside Kyiv, to be with her husband who is a doctor but now ill himself. We were all struck by the contrast of her going back into a war zone and being - so far - safe and well, and Marga here in safe and secure England suddenly being gone.

Life is very fragile.

[richardandtracy]

Life is incredibly fragile. It's best to enjoy every day to the maximum that you can.

Tracy was in a meeting yesterday about FIL and continued care in his care home. It was both very stressful and a relief. She came out of the meeting more than a little weepy, though.
The stressful bit for Tracy was hearing the itemised details of her father's deterioration in the last 3 months. He can no-longer roll over on his own or feed himself, he was already bed bound with a catheter and nappies. He needs help to sit up. He's lost 9 kg in 3 months and his chest congestion has returned with a severe chest infection. Last weekend they had to apply 'end of life use only' mucus control drugs twice to be able to get him to breathe and not drown where he was sitting. They have covid in the home again.
The relief was that the recommendation from the meeting was that the NHS should continue to pay his £6000 a month care home fees for the next three months.
It's an utterly horrible position to be in. If my FIL were a pet, we'd rightfully be prosecuted for animal cruelty. I can't, won't and would never, advocate that his end is hastened, but it's so awful for him, MIL & Tracy. It feels so wrong.

So, life, enjoy it while you can.

Regards,

Richard

[rcperryls]

Life is fragile.

Mabel: I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Sudden losses like that, especially when it is a young person is so hard to fathom. It's good to know that the husband and children have your and your church to support them through this.

Richard: I feel so bad that Tracy must deal with this, but relieved for her that they have approved 3 more months of care. It would have been unimaginable that they wouldn't have given the approval. One of my oldest friends, we met in 4th grade (9 yrs old) has suffered several major medical issues and has been in an almost catatonic state for the last year. Her husband calls me periodically to update me on her condition (she is in Chicago) and I think to get support for himself as well. One of my neighbors, who I am close friends with, is dealing with a husband who has similar medical issues, but continues to stay at home. She is a nurse and can provide much of the care he needs but it continues to be very difficult for her. I am incredibly fortunate that I have not had to cope with family suffering this way. I'm glad, though, that FIL is getting the care he needs and that y'all no longer have to provide it yourselves which would be impossible I'm sure. These are the times when I wish I had the magic power of a genie (We saw the play Aladdin a few weeks ago) to make things better.

Carole

[Roland]

Mabel, so sorry about the loss of your friend.

Richard, this has been such a long road. I’m glad you & Tracy are no longer having to be the only caregivers.

[fccs]

Richard, I’m sorry to hear your FIL is deteriorating but thankful for the approval of his care. It must be so hard on Tracy and you to deal with this and all the other things life throws at you. Sometimes adulting is just no fun. And Mabel, I’m sorry for your loss. Prayers for comfort for her family and friends.

[Steam.Jo]

I believe that people live on while we remember them.
In our minds we can hear them, we can see them, and we can anticipate what they would have done.
Sometimes such memories make us laugh.
It reminds us that they were important in our lives.
Our lives are shaped by such memories and we are enhanced by having known them.

Jo

[Steam.Jo]

In reference to Richard and Tracy's challenges I am reminded that:

Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.
Towards the end we too become stiff and unbending.
Our eyes will become dim making it difficult to see or understand.

Sometimes it is necessary to work without recognition.
The more we give to others, the greater is our abundance.

Jo

[Serinde]

Mabel, I'm so sorry for such a shocking loss. Your church family will undoubtedly support each other. But the irony is impossible to escape.

Richard, I'm so sorry you find yourself in this position with FIL (though so relieved about the recommendation of continuing NHS support). Your compassion for FIL and support for Tracy are the strengths that will get you all through this particular passage in life.

Making the most of every day is something I often forget to do when chores seem more pressing than stitching or the garden. Of course, the chores will always be there, but inspiration is fleeting and is ignored at one's peril.

[richardandtracy]

Thank you all. FIL is currently less of an issue for us than he was. He is being looked after much better than we could look after him, and much better than happened when he was in a geriatric ward in our local hospital. So, from that side, the mental wear & tear on us has reduced. We now have the time to step back & see the bigger picture, which we couldn't before. It's not great, but I think we're having time to grieve for him a bit before he goes now. Not sure if that makes sense, but with the degree of dementure he has, my FIL isn't really there anymore.


On a different note, one thing I must mention.

You probably know by now that we have a Maine Coon by the name of Ozzie. Well, on Wednesday we had about 2" of snow. Ozzie loves snow, just like our Maine Coon Gryff did.

So he bounded out, tail up like a flag, where usually it's down like a lion's, leaping from spot to spot, swiping at snow flakes and pouncing on innocent lumps of snow. Then he realised the snow was wet and dripping (air was above freezing, as was the ground), and a large soggy lump fell out of our Holly tree, hit him in the middle of his forehead and That! Was! It! He'd had enough. He wanted in. RIGHT NOW! IMMEDIATELY! IF NOT SOONER!

He shot to the back door when we opened it and ran in to the kitchen, skidding his wet paws round the bend to his food bowl, and all the time he was swearing quite loudly to himself. He absolutely REFUSED to go out for the rest of the day. His joy at the snow had been destroyed and he wasn't going out to play.

Poor cat.

Regards,

Richard

[rcperryls]

Glad to know that the pressure on your family is so much less now that the daily care of your FIL is in the hands of professionals.

Love the Ozzie story. I could picture it happening. Is there a door he can through to get in the house if no one is at home? I can almost imagine him knocking down the door to get in if he had to. Rosey is an indoor cat, but loves her catio and wants it open even if she doesn't want to be in it. Unless it gets cold outside. She sits on the window ledge until I open it, goes outside, sniffs twice, comes back in and gives me a dirty look that says "why isn't the heat on in my catio" and goes off to sleep on a cozy blanket in the middle of the bed.

Cats!

Carole