BOYS!?!?!?!?!!!!!

[Rose]

Things I've learned from boys!!!!!!



01.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep. (Note to all the engineers - the math does not work on this
one)
02.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
03.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
04.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
05.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
06.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.
07.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
08.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke! .......lots of it.
09.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) The spin cycle on the washing machine will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control

[lindagibb]

Brilliant, will be passing this one on to my email buddies around the world

[kathipink]

God blessed me with boys who are now grown. I found it hilarious~~

kathi

[mauveme]

thankyou Rose.

[dollystitcher]

This is hysterical, thank you Rose

[Kute Kitty]

...and yet, I still want children...

[freelady]

Love it Thank you Rose for a laugh on a grey Monday morning. I see lots of these but this is one of the best.

[purgatory]

hehehe

this is funny especially since I have no intention of having kids (just further adds to my list of birth control!)

but I am going to email it to a couple of friends with two boys each!

[skitzzzzz]

made me laugh i have twin boys aged 9 and we as in they have done a few of these things in the list and more
i cried too
i have grey hair to prove it lol

[Jaki :)]

Thank god it's not just my boys who do this kind of stuff lol been there done that on a few of them on list & you forgot 1....

26) when boys are too quiet....BE AFRAID

[Nachstenliebe]

Thank goodness my 5 year old can't read yet or he'd be getting some ideas!
Faith

[Fljotsdale]

I'm so glad my children are all 40+ adults!

[meerkat]

Nice one Rose Our two boy are all grown up but we have two (adorable) grandsons so not out of the woods just yet

[nettie]

Love it!

[maggs]

I have boys and one of them would certantly wanted to try these out, infact they my have done some of them.

[LaurenR]

i still want to have kids some day.

[dinagriff]

I have one son. There is a reason I have only one son.

[Rose]

Realy I have always said I would take a football team of boys to one girl.......

[aundria]

Rose, that is hilarious!

I just noticed that you are from Gilroy - I went through Gilroy last year on a road trip with my parents, and we stopped in Gilroy for garlic and hot sauce - I love your town!!

[Listessa]

And that's why you couldn't pay me to have a kid/kids ever. The (future) stepson is plenty.

Plus, I work with mostly men now. Believe me, they never really grow past that list- especially when spending time in large groups. I call it Testosterone Poisoning.

I think there are some unwritten laws along the lines of:
1. If it can be set on fire, someone will eventually try. (Windshield washer fluid)
2. It's all fun and games, until someone takes a hit to the groin. (Snowball, and mini nerf football)
3. If you're going to taunt the plumber, you better run fast or get a good head start.
4. Don't just put one of the girls in the middle of the wrestling match. If so, refer to number 2.
5. It's hilarious to try and sneak up on someone, jump out and scare them.
6. Practical jokes are awesome, particularly when they get so crazy that no one realizes who is pranking whom.


I know there are a few others that I am forgetting right now, but yup- those boys never really grow up, they just get bigger and older!