2024 Quick Daily Posts

[richardandtracy]

I agree, you should love it, you certainly enjoyed the previous one.

Regards,

Richard

[richardandtracy]

We've had a fun weekend, combining work, study (Tracy), executor business (me for my dad) and MIL.

We had a breakthrough in researching MIL's dementia symptoms over the weekend, and they seem to be a better fit for 'Dementia with Lewy Bodies' than any other type, and the symptoms she's showing are a good fit for end-middle stage/early final stage. All sources suggesting she has around 1 year to live.
I know it's never great to look things up on the web, but as her GP hasn't yet seen her in person this year (despite repeated requests) we're trying to get as informed as we can in the total vacuum of professional intervention. At least we know what is likely to be the diagnosis & have an idea how it'll progress. Any why she seems to have such variable capacity from day to day.

Regards

Richard

[Serinde]

In the hands of smart and thoughtful people, Dr Google can certainly be helpful; knowledge is, as they say, power. I know you continue to try to get your MIL to her GP, and that's important because (for our US readers) that person is the gatekeeper for all the services, including consultants.

I have found various dedicated groups also can be useful (in the case of DH's IPF), even if a bit "happy shiny", if you see what I mean.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Glad you managed to find some information that is helpful. Yes, Googling illnesses can lead you down ever more worrying rabbit holes, but as Serinde says, in the hands of sensible people (and in the absence of GP input) it is a good addition to your arsenal of knowledge.

[richardandtracy]

MIL finally got seen by her doctor yesterday to decide if she needed a 'memory clinic referral', and Tracy was with her during the questions the doctor gave her to test her cognitive capacity. The 'Memory Clinic' referral is a nice way of saying 'Getting a Dementia Test'.

At the start of the questioning the GP gave her a sentence to repeat back to him at the end of the session. MIL couldn't remember that the doctor had given ger a sentence to remember let-alone what it was. It took her 12 minutes to draw a clock face because she kept getting stuck with every number above 4, and was unable to mark any hands on it. She couldn't say which day of the week it was, but did know it was 4 December because of the advent calendar doors being open. Apparently as the questions progressed she became increasingly distressed because she knew should be able to answer, but couldn't. MIL admitted to the doctor that she no-longer watches TV nor dies she listen to the radio because they're too confusing. We knew about the TV, but not the radio.

At the end, the doctor said to Tracy 'I think the referral is quite urgent.', which left Tracy wanting to scream in frustration, because it has been over a year since we started trying to get her seen BY THAT GP for a referral.

It rather confirms our feeling that she's got serious problems, and Tracy wasn't even aware quite how bad her mum had got - that in itself made her want to curl up in bed with the covers over her after returning home (she didn't, but wanted to).

Oh dear. However the gatekeeper to NHS services now sees that things are not right and we should be able to progress and possibly get some help instead of being stuck in limbo trying to do everything ourselves.

Regards,

Richard

[Mabel Figworthy]

It is really hard to see a loved one struggle like that, especially a parent, not surprised it got to Tracy. But as you say at least MIL is in the system now, and hopefully there won't be too many distressing assessments. I was told years ago that once it has been established that someone has dementia, the last thing you want to do is keep asking them "but surely you remember..." questions. Go with what they do remember, ignore what they don't remember/can't do anymore (not "ignore" as in not taking it seriously, but I mean not making them feel they should know things they don't), it will be much less painful for them not to be reminded of what they have lost. But knowing the sensitive way you and Tracy deal with your parents I know I'm trying to teach my granny to suck eggs, as it were!

[Serinde]

Finally! I'm sorry for all of you, but at the same time relieved for all of you that you are now on the right track. Let's hope they put their skates on.

Funny thing about the clock face. My GP (regarding another matter) said that some people in the early stages of dementia have coping strategies for remembering the date, day, etc., but the definitive primary clue for dementia is whether they can draw a clock face and then put a particular time of day on it. It's always the stumbling block.

[richardandtracy]

Currently at my Dad's house, trying to sort stuff. No heating.. It's in Combe Martin, which was in the 'Red Area' for wind during storm Darragh (gusts in excess of 90mph). The power had been out and numerous trees down on the road to the village, but nothing had happened on the property. The garden was covered in twigs from a load of Ash trees just up wind from the property, but otherwise OK.
The biggest problem has been the Vodafone mast being out of commission, especially as the landline to my dad's house is off.

Regards,

Richard.

[Serinde]

Good to know there's no damage to the property! That really would be very bad indeed.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Glad the house is all right, here's hoping they can sort out the mast quickly!

[Serinde]

High pressure systems are grand, but in the winter, our entire strath and all the ones in the area (including the much larger Strathclyde) is full of fog, it having spilled over from the Forth and points east. It's quite beautiful, but not when you have to drive in it at rush hour!

(Saga of YS's car meaning DH still on driving duties, but all in place to make said vehicle roadworthy again.)

[richardandtracy]

What a weekend.

MIL fell three times, twice on Friday and once on Saturday. She can't get up on her own, and pressed her emergency alarm. No, sorry, that's wrong. She gently wiped her alarm button with a finger and as a result it didn't register or connect. We found her only by visiting. Not good. I think she could well be in her last few weeks of being at home if this continues, but a fall alarm could help.

Then, with her short term memory being as good as it is, she'd entirely forgotten about the Saturday fall when Tracy popped round after church on Sunday.

FIL destroyed his original will and MIL's original will before he died. No idea why, but he did. As there was a copy of MIL's will, we've re-created her will with all the same provisions (except those relating to FIL), and got it witnessed by the two vicars who know her at Tracy's church. The male vicar was mortified by initially being called the female vicar's husband, and initially MIL thought the female vicar was a care assistant come to give her a wash... She eventually recognised them and had a good time chatting with her 'old' friends. At last that's done, as it'll make things easier when the inevitable happens.

Regards,

Richard

[Serinde]

Hope things have calmed down since the weekend. Good thing you've acted on the will (presume you've kept the original copy, too).

[richardandtracy]

Oh yes, we are keeping the copy of her previous will as evidence that no untoward changes were made should a probate court be interested.

So far this week things have calmed down, which is rather nice. These problems seem to come in waves, so maybe we're past one.

Regards,

Richard

[Serinde]

Using that analogy, you have to really watch for every seventh wave. Let's hope you are all becalmed!

[richardandtracy]

Suddenly realised how close we are to Christmas and went into mild panic mode. We've re-arranged the dining room so my dad's carved sideboard fits and we can also seat five around the dining room table. Up until then, the room had been a dumping ground for 'stuff' we weren't sure where else to put.

The sideboard is 6' 4" long, and was rescued from terminal woodworm in the late 1940's by my grandfather who replaced and re-carved the severely affected parts. My dad inherited it, and now it's passed down to me. The thing is Victorian Gothic, and is covered in carvings of faces, mythical creatures and angels. There is a removable carved back panel which probably is too tall for our house, but we can't be certain as it needs restoration having spent the last 10 years in a damp garage, when the glue holding it together fell apart and it grew white mould over almost every square inch. I feel the proportions of our Victorian house suit the Victorian Gothic sideboard much better than my Dad's last house, which is from the 1980's, or my dad's previous house which dated to around 1600AD - in both cases the ceilings felt too low compared to the room and sideboard length.

The Christmas cake is currently smelling delicious. I got it into the oven and hour ago and it has another two hours to go, while the kids (25 & 27 yo, so not really 'kids') did the Christmas tree and decorations.

Regards,

Richard.

[Serinde]

That sideboard sounds fabulous! Hope you can resurrect the carved back somehow. Know what you mean about Victorian furniture in Victorian houses, as we have much the same issue. We have a Victorian framed sofa (always known in my grandparent's house a "love seat") plus a single matching chair which looks entirely to home in our 1890s house. It's the proportions. It also needs some repair and is in desperate need of re-upholstering. (Saving our pennies...for the deep button back on the chair...)

Christmas is a wonderful baking time of year!

[richardandtracy]

Got the cake cooked, but not without a little drama. The cooking was on very, very low (gas mark 1, never normally cook less than gas mark 5). Anyway after 2 hours I put a piece of aluminium foil on the top to stop it burning. Well, shutting the door blew the gas out, and our oven is old enough to have a pilot light gas flow even if all the flames blow out. An hour later when the cake should have been ready, I found the kitchen smelling of gas and the oven cold. That was rectified in about an hour after ventilating the kitchen.


The sideboard is now pretty full with crockery. My brother wants all the Noritake 'Sabrina' pattern crockery that my parents got in the early 1960's. It's amazing and delicate, as seen here: https://www.replacements.com/china-nori ... p/60546351. The delicate white flower pattern is applied to the surface glaze. Don't know how I'm going to get it to him in Madrid, but because we're trying to clear my Dad's house, I've had to bring it to our place. The Noritake fills a fair bit of the sideboard because I thought it probably should be stored in its 'usual' place in the sideboard. I wish my parents had used and enjoyed it all more than once or twice a year, it's too nice to allow it to languish so rarely used.

I was so lucky to discover a tea set in the loft of my Dad's house that my parents bought in 1962, it's the same as this one: https://www.trocadero.com/stores/eurasi ... ane-Geisha
The bottom of the tea cups have an impression in the base thinning the porcelain so it's translucent creating a monochrome lithophane picture of a Geish's face - here in an e-bay sale which will disappear eventually: https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/YfkAAOSw ... -l960.webp. I've seen many different prices for the set from £20 up - I just chose the first link because it has the best photos, not because I think it's worth that much. My parents told me they bought the set in Hong Kong in 1962 for a few shillings and it was so cheap it was almost disposable at the time.

I don't know, but it seems so sad going through my parents' stuff at this time of year, and after sorting through it yesterday it was particularly poignant that I couldn't talk to my parents by phone for the usual hour on a Sunday evening; Something that had been a ritual for 46 years from when I was 13 until my dad went into the care home last year.

Regards,

Richard

[Serinde]

Beautiful china. Suspect it's only because the items were only used twice a year that they have survived.Don't know how you are going to get it out to Madrid either, apart from with a reputable removal firm and the insurance they offer.

Golly! scary gas story!

[Mabel Figworthy]

Golly! scary gas story!

Quite!

The sideboard and its occupants sound lovely Richard, the Sabrina service is so delicate.