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I would be gobsmacked if I saw my DH do that. We do have an understanding though about his and her stuff. I have my cross stitch collection and he has his mechanic tools. He is a pack rat, not me!!!!!!!!!!!

..... I like Cariee's comment though!

socialsue

All he needed to do was ask... FIRST. My DH also understood the enormity of the crime, and suggested the appropriate retaliation would be to go into his store of wood, and chip any piece that wasn't of a standard size. That was after he also wondered when the divorce was being filed.

Heck of an expensive surprise...

After thirty years living with a man - why so surprised

Seriously though I think it's all down to intent, he THOUGHT she would be pleased.

That's exactly what I was planning to do with some really old stitching magazines myself. I did that with some quilting magazines several years ago. The thing I do is pull out the patterns I want and donate the remains of the magazine to the thrift store. That is if I don't keep all of the patterns.

I can understand being upset about it. At least he meant well!

quote from my Hubby

"Oh Boy is he in trouble...sounds like divorce proceedings!"

My Hubby may say that I have too many magazines/stash/charts but he would NEVER dare to shred or dispose of mine.....He'd be doing his own cooking/cleaning/ironing for the rest of his natural!!!

Perhaps you could use the Shredder on something he loves!!

for you Topbiddy.

Serinde wrote:All he needed to do was ask... FIRST.

I think that's exactly it. Rose, I see what you mean about him meaning well, and from what you say for you it would have been a pleasant surprise; but then you may have said on occasion things like "I must go through that pile of magazines and take out the charts I want, then at last I can get rid of the rest!" -- some clue that the surprise was going to be a welcome surprise.

Another thing, even if you know someone really really well, and you know for a fact that she wants to go through her magazines to keep only the charts she wants and shred the rest, even then I'd hate to do it; how on earth can you be absolutely sure which charts she would keep if she were going through them herself? Thinking of some of the things I've kept myself, they are nothing like my usual "likes" but were just a one-off in a completely different style that I kept because it appealed to me.

I agree though that his intentions were obviously good, so perhaps we should let him off fairly lightly; a lovely dinner and a present of stash perhaps?

My condolences on the loss of your magazine collection..

I have no idea what I would have done in the same situation. Probably would have blacked out and did a white girl rendition of the hulk...

I'm sure his intentions were lovely, but how did he know what charts she'd want or not? Every if you have lived with someone for 30 years??

He should have asked, and then sorted out a compromise if he found the stack of mags a problem....

I have done this with a whole lot of old mags, but my modern mags are mostly still together other than the odd animal chart and all JE's which have their own folders.

Nx

I have read out some of the comments you guys have sent and he is soooooooo embarrassed ( that was after he got over the shock of me telling you all) I told him I would, but it didn't register until I started reading.....
To be fair....(but not to him.... I am enjoying his penance too much lol,) he hasn't got a mean bone in his body and he didn't realise the magnitude of his crime. I almost felt a little sorry for his sad face when the words ' when's the divorce going through....almost! . I think he realises how deep we stitchers feel about our stashes now.... 'wow, don't mess with cross stitchers', he keeps saying to me. But yes, he thought it would be a nice surprise and yes, I HAVE said many a time ' I must sort out all my magazines'.... just not quite that sorted lol. He said if I found any magazines on ebay that I wanted that had hit the shredder - or even if they were just ones I hadn't got...grovel grovel .... then he would pay for them. He even promised to put all my mags in date order - there are still a load left - lol and keep them dusted off Ahhhhhh, bless, do you think he has suffered enough??? He really doesn't like walking about on his knees Ha Ha

Bless his cotton socks!! He does sound like he's truly apologetic and has suffered quite enough---I know there won't be a next time

Awww! You won't have to cut him off in his Prime then!

Just think of all those cups of tea in bed you can claim now

topbiddy wrote: He even promised to put all my mags in date order - there are still a load left - lol and keep them dusted off

I think he deserves whatever he fancies at the Stash & Grab. Dusting. Good man.

disrespect. my God. i just got divorced after a little over ten years. he is mentally ill and became dangerous in so many ways. but anyway.

i don't think revenge is the answer.....

i think--and i could be wrong---that he doesn't get part of you on some fundamental level. or at least not your cs-ing. i think you need to really TALK and make him understand what he has done. that it is more than magazines. make him really understand clearly and calmly what you feel he has done. use I FEEL phrases. make him really get it and maybe after 30 years you are overdue for a talk if he thought what he was doing would make you happy.

i would be devastated. luckily my ex never got the chance to destroy any of my stuff because i locked it up. not that he didn't try to---nevermind.

i would suggest real, sincere, calm talking. because he has really hurt you deeply--taken something that was special to you and destroyed it. he needs to get that.

appreciate and respect your opinion guenever, but I don't think we need therapy. Okay, he's a man, God didn't get it quite perfect til he made WOMAN

topbiddy wrote:appreciate and respect your opinion guenever, but I don't think we need therapy. Okay, he's a man, God didn't get it quite perfect til he made WOMAN

sorry--i didn't mean to offend. i also didn't mean that you two needed therapy. i am really and sincerely sorry if i offended.

No problem

oh my!! I have to say..everytime we move..and my lovely husband has to carry my heavy boxes of mags and books down to the moving truck..and he asks.."Do you really need all of these? could you possible stitch all of this in your lifetime?" I shoot him a look of business..and he knows to hush his mouth and just put them in the truck.

I could imagine your rage..I would omg..have lost it..first crying..then screaming..then my husband's xbox would have to be sold LOL

But he does sound like he was just trying to do something nice..and most men wouldn't have been concerned with trying to do something nice..haha don't make him suffer too long..he sounds like he's willing to make it up to you..new stash?? lol

topbiddy wrote:I have read out some of the comments you guys have sent and he is soooooooo embarrassed ( that was after he got over the shock of me telling you all) I told him I would, but it didn't register until I started reading.....

He said if I found any magazines on ebay that I wanted that had hit the shredder - or even if they were just ones I hadn't got...grovel grovel .... then he would pay for them. He even promised to put all my mags in date order

Once the shock has worn off, I think he's a keeper. His heart was in the right place and he has certainly learned not to mess with stash. So you can let him know that I forgive him.

karen4bells wrote:

topbiddy wrote:appreciate and respect your opinion guenever, but I don't think we need therapy. Okay, he's a man, God didn't get it quite perfect til he made WOMAN

I think that explains it all!


Carole