ZOMG! I got my first hug at last!

[Angel]

If I tell my sister that she shouldn't behave like that with milli she will get very aggressive and deffensive. She can do it with the other two quite ok, but not with Milli and she doesn't get why not. After she did it though, I made sure that I placed myself next to her or Milli so I could "accidentally" get in the way.

[pamelam]

Angel,
I'm so happy for you that your little cousin is coming out of whatever she endured in the past. The situation reminds me of someone very young that I also know. It's terrible to watch a little child suffer so needlessly.

[Angel]

*huggles Pamelam* I hope that the person you know is ok.

[pamelam]

Angel,
My niece seems to have a lot of emotional and physical problems. Lowest in all school subjects, bedwetting at eight and a half years old, only whispers to her mom at family get togethers, overly sensitive about everything, seems to have more knowledge of grown up issues than should be normal for a child. She went from being very loud and aggresive and angry all the time to suddenly being withdrawn and very quiet all the time. Her mom overly babies her and talks to and about her as if she was one year old The so called adults in her life don't seem to understand that this seems like a serious problem. When I've pointed out to my sister that she shouldn't let her spend time with her father, who seems to terrify her, she just says that he loves her and she'll be fine.

[Angel]

I'm so sorry. My cousin is out of harms way now and doing much better, but it's so hard when they're still being subjected to it and you can't do anything to stop it. I really hope that she's safe and the cause of her distress takes a long walk off of a very tall and very short cliff.

[Rose]

Angel,
My niece seems to have a lot of emotional and physical problems. Lowest in all school subjects, bedwetting at eight and a half years old, only whispers to her mom at family get togethers, overly sensitive about everything, seems to have more knowledge of grown up issues than should be normal for a child. She went from being very loud and aggresive and angry all the time to suddenly being withdrawn and very quiet all the time. Her mom overly babies her and talks to and about her as if she was one year old The so called adults in her life don't seem to understand that this seems like a serious problem. When I've pointed out to my sister that she shouldn't let her spend time with her father, who seems to terrify her, she just says that he loves her and she'll be fine.

Pam this seems like a very serious issue to me a child does not tend to make such rapid emotional changes such as you have discribed unless something in there life is causing them distress. I know it can be hard to do but have you ever considered calling Child Services and expressing your concerns to them. It sounds like this child is screaming for help and none of the adults in her life are listening. Like I said it is a very difficult thing to do but if no one else wants to address the problem then you really should think of the childs welfare.

[pamelam]

Rose,
I have thought that I should report what I think could be going on. I try to talk to my sister about my concerns, but she doesn't think anything is happening. Her ex husband spent a few years in prison before they were married. She just waited for him to get out and then they got married despite people telling her not to. I have never felt comfortable around him as he is very violent and just plain scary. I don't know what he would do to get revenge if I did report it. It looks as though he is going to be moving to another state, so that would keep my niece from spending any more time at his house. I just don't know what to do. In the meantime she is now living with my sister and her current boyfriend. I know that from infancy my niece has been exposed to a lot of trashy people.

[Nachstenliebe]

Breaks my heart to read this thread. It's awful what some kids must endure.
Faith

[Angel]

Sometimes reporting it can wind up doing more harm than good. If you report it now then he may not move and these men are good at putting on an act for half an hour around authorities. Niel did a brilliant job, no one could actually find anything wrong with him, except the girls and sue spoke out and women got "bad vibes" but they can't take legal action on bad vibes. If your niece doesn't say anything and her mum won't and he puts on an act...It's hard to know what to do, but if he's moving away, perhaps that's just the best thing. I mean...the best thing would be to beat these men to a bloody pulp, but the best, legal thing is to perhaps smile wish him bon voyage and then take action if he does have access to your niece afterward.

[Rose]

Well there is a good point to what Angel is saying and if your niece seems to get better once her dad has moved from the close area then I would say great but the emotional side of things are still an issue. Maybe once the man is gone you could have a very serious talk with your sister. Take her out all alone and tell her she need to get help for her daughter. It is very important. I have seen to many kids only get worse because family members were afraid to say anything. You might even talk to the girls school counseler and see if maybe she seees a problem they are required to report possible abuse and this could get you off teh hot seat but the most important person at htis point is the little girl not your sister.

[Angel]

Agreed. My aunt refused to see the problem for the longest time, but he was also abusing her. So she couldn't admit it until he was out of her life. Maybe your sister has a similar defense mechanism in her psyche? I know it's hard to know what to do and we can't really give you any definitive help, but she's in my thoughts and I really hope she recovers from it soon...whatever it is. Poor child.