2021 Quick Daily Posts

[Serinde]

Hallowe'en was always a thing in Scotland, but (trying to be kind here) the US turned it inside out. Less said the better, except that in our neck of the woods the children are still expected to do a trick -- a joke or a song or something -- before they get their treat .

There's no reason at all why Thanksgiving at the end of November should be a British thing. (Though I can imagine turkey farmers in Norfolk are wondering how to cash in on it, and failing, thankfully...) It's just a sort of harvest festival, tied into a certain amount of American historic mythology. Americans in the UK often get together (students are brilliant at this; how they manage in their accommodation kitchens is always astonishing to me). We invite our "family" (or at least some of them; constraint on space) here and it turns into something of an Advent bash... the pilgrim fathers would not be amused!

[Roland]

In some ways I really like the 'Addams Family: Family Values' take on Thanksgiving, with the speech Wednesday gives before destroying the Thanksgiving play is hilarious.

Regards,

Richard

Being Métis, that is my absolute favourite take on Thanksgiving.

The scene and even some of Wednesday’s speaking is used in a music video that I love too.

[Roland]

One of my son’s ended up in ICU this week.

He got a virus which attacked his heart and he had 4 heart attacks. He’s been put on anti-viral and anti-inflammatory meds and is home now.

He’s one of the healthiest people I’ve ever known. Eats healthy all the time…rarely even eats any desert. Works out regularly and lives an active life. But caught a stupid virus that did this. They tested him for Covid, but I haven’t heard result, though we expect it to be negative. But this could be a virus as simple as a cold…it just landed in his heart, caused swelling, and reduced oxygen to the heart.

And I know this is unreasonable….but I am so angry.

[rcperryls]

What an awful scare for your family! and what a horrible experience for your son. I am so glad to hear that he has pulled through this and is now home safely. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and for your son whose experience was sooooo scary.

Carole

[Steam.Jo]

Not what you need at any time, let alone in these days of Covid when the Hospitals are already so over stretched. Pleased to hear he is back home, keep him warm and take it easy while his body fully recovers.

I just heard that they have found the first 2 cases of the new variant of Covid in the UK. A South African expert was saying that this new variant may cause a less intensive illness. I do hope they are right for all of us, especially for our wonderful/outstanding carers and hospital staff - this pandemic never seems to give them a break.

Jo

[Mabel Figworthy]

What a scare! Glad to hear he's home now, I hope he has a speedy and smooth recovery.

[richardandtracy]

What a relief that he's able to come home. It's a reminder just how fragile life can be. But he is with you again, praise be.

Regards,

Richard.

[Roland]

I’m not sure whether he’s home because he’s OK to be home or because with Covid people are pushed out of hospitals ASAP.

We’re going up to visit him tomorrow.

[fccs]

It is scary to need hospital care with so many hospitals over capacity. I’m glad he was able to go home and wishing him a full recovery.

[Serinde]

I’m not sure whether he’s home because he’s OK to be home or because with Covid people are pushed out of hospitals ASAP.

We’re going up to visit him tomorrow.

That must have been so frightening for you all. Viruses are very odd things, and we really know so little about them. A doctor friend of mine developed a gluten intolerance following a bad viral bout years ago. Being at home while he recovers is probably the best place for him -- especially with Covid about. But the important thing is that he takes the time to mend.

[Roland]

Spent the afternoon visiting him. He actually looks good.

He & his wife seem to disagree on what the doctor said, and when he can return to work. My son feels he can go back much sooner. Fortunately she had called his boss when he was in hospital, so he will not be allowed back without doctor clearance in writing.

Most people would take as much time as possible, but not my kid. He’ll be back as soon as he can. (He has an excellent policy, so he will be getting sick pay while he’s off.)

[Mabel Figworthy]

A different bit of sewing this morning: I mended the zip on a favourite boot! I've had this pair of boots for several decades, and they were second-hand when I got them so no idea how old they are - I'm surprised they've held out this long! But it wouldn't zip up any more because the plastic bit of the zip had come loose from the fabric but of the zip , so I had to sew in between the teeth to put it back together again. But now it's fine, and I get to keep my warm and comfy boots

[richardandtracy]

That's impressive Mabel, I've only ever repaired zipped items by cutting the zip out & replacing. Done this on a few motorcycle jackets amongst other things. To stitch the teeth back in situ - that's another order of difficulty again.



After a series of events last week we're coming to the conclusion my FIL needs to be in a home. The only thing he can be trusted to do is to make the wrong decision about anything & everything. He hasn't had a wash or shower since early October - refused all offers of help - and now has suppurating sores in unmentionable regions. Then he had a tummy upset & couldn't get to the loo in time and fell over in his rush. He can't get up on his own. Let's just say, Friday morning was mostly spent cleaning up the house.

MIL is not yet back from hospital. Not yet medically fit and mentally is away with the fairies when she gets tired. Last visit she told Tracy not to take red bags from a man who was in the ward to MIL, but invisible to everyone else. At least she's put on weight and her skin isn't stretched over her skeleton like an Egyptian mummy's any more.

It's all marginally better than it was, but still not good. Fortunately my 90yo dad in Devon hasn't had a recurrence of his artificial knee locking up, so is quite fit and well still.

Regards,

Richard

[rcperryls]

Richard, my heart goes out to you and Tracy and the rest of your family. Seems to me that your FIL has no option but a 24 hour care home and I would guess your MIL may also. Years ago, my MIL (before she was my MIL) was hospitalized and also started having really strange delusions and hallucinations (deer hunting was one of them, which she had never done before). It turned out it was caused by a sodium deficiency. She had been on a salt free diet for blood pressure and eliminated all sodium from her diet. Years later my husband developed a sodium deficiency, fortunately discovered before he had hallucinations, though his doctor was surprised that he hadn't had. (If he did, he never said, and I never noticed ) I used to laugh and say I was the only wife in America who checked nutrition labels to make sure they had sodium. My son also has the same thing. I'm not suggesting that is your MIL's problem, but it is a startling and difficult thing to cope with.

Years ago also, my father was severely injured in an airplane crash and spent months in hospital beds. In the beginning, he was in the ICU and developed what they called an ICU psychosis, where he had several days of delusions and hallucinations. Very hard on my me and my sister. and that MIL gets well soon and that FIL gets the professional care he needs.

[Roland]

Richard, I’m so sorry you and Tracy are having to deal with this.

It really does sound like it’s time for 24 hour care.

[wendywombat]

I agree with Carole about the need for FIL to be in residential care.

It's so hard to make that final commitment. I know, as I said before, when dealing with my late father. I had to tell him that he couldn't go back to his house once he was discharged from hospital. He was such a 'crabby and difficult man' that I took 2 nurses with me to be witness to what I had to tell him. He would Not have accepted it if I had been alone.

Have you been able to get mental health social workers involved, through his GP? It sounds as if FIL needs a proper assessment of his condition. Not much can be done these days without a GP and Social work involvement.
and Courage to you and Tracy at this difficult time.

[Serinde]

Richard, this just... well, can't say exactly what it does, but it begins and ends with "s". Those sores sound appalling, and I immediately wondered if he was also hosting an impressive set of infections, which affect personality, too. What a miserable situation to find yourselves in at any time, never mind the "festive season".

Remember that we are all here, and our ears are open. So's the Stash & Grab, where some new decorations have just gone up, seeing as it's Dec 6. Anything you want -- it's behind the bar.

[richardandtracy]

Thank you all for your kind words.
Our chief problem is that the healthcare system here seems to be disintegrating, and we're in the middle of it. It means the people we need to contact are either unavailable for whatever reason, are not in post or they consider my FIL to be somebody else's problem.

My FIL has been under the care of the mental health services for 8 years.
They tried to return him to the GP because he was making no progress.
His GP has refused, for 8 years, to acknowledge that they have any duty of care while he is under the Mental Health side, and have abnegated all responsibility for any part of his physical care. This stance is slipping a bit now that the carers contacted the district nurse direct and got her to visit. She declared him unable to look after himself. The GP made an effort to send a paramedic nurse, who was refused entry as my FIL didn't know who he was, when or why he was coming - the GP records show he suffers from anxiety, agoraphobia and depression and we specifically asked that they telephone in advance to warn him of who is coming and why. They didn't.
The GP said he'd refused care and considers the matter closed.
This is someone who is housebound, is considered by the mental health team to have limited capacity and gets extremely anxious with new people, and the GP feels - without seeing him for 8 years - that he has sufficient capacity to be considered as rationally refusing care. They're 'avin' a bleedin' larf.

It is so b****y frustrating.
He is caught between the mental health side and his GP, both of which think his care is the responsibility of the other side.
Makes me want to pound heads against each other until I feel better about it. Think 3 weeks might begin to do the job. Not sure how the occupants of the heads would feel, but it would begin to give them an idea of how I feel about how obstructive, obtuse and unhelpful they have collectively been.

The GP practice (the Chestnut Practice) clearly wants nothing whatsoever to do with him. In 2019 his GP practice featured in the Daily Mail newspaper: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... worse.html. Things have got worse since, with the pandemic being used as an excuse to reduce patient-doctor interaction at every turn.

We simply CANNOT get through to anyone on the phone these days. All NHS organisations round here have simply abandoned answering the phone. And they only organise appointments by phone. Or letter, sometimes. E-mail addresses quoted on the practice websites appear to be false as I get responses saying 'service provider not found' or similar. At best with the phones you get in an automated queuing system, and then at 25 minutes you are automatically disconnected. At worst, the phone provider disconnects you because no-one - not even an answering machine - is answering. We are supposed to phone the ward where my MIL is to book a visit (covid restrictions). The phone in the ward is never answered. We simply turn up during visiting hours, and during the entire visit the ward phone is ringing, and never answered by anyone. Nurses walk past as if it doesn't exist.
I think we have averaged 2.5 hours waiting for calls to be answered before getting anyone to pick up. We have started to keep a log of it as evidence for a malpractice complaint to the local GP committee, if we can find one. And get through to it.

All that Covid seems to have done is speed up the rate of collapse of local services. It didn't start the collapse. There are a few people in the system trying to make things work, but it appears a lot of people have reached the point where they simply don't give a stuff about anyone or anything. Before Covid I accompanied my FIL to hospital on a number of occasions, and each visit it struck me there was at least one person in each department (so around 10% of the people we saw) floating about with the same piece of paper wandering hither & thither doing nothing other than trying to look busy, even though they did nothing than go into empty rooms, pick things up, replace them, re-arrange tidy stuff, put it back in the original position and then go on to the next room with the same blank piece of paper clutched in their hand. It feels worse now. It's possible I'm seeing this sort of thing because I'm expecting to and I'm imagining it, but I really don't think so. You get a feel for when organisations are working well or badly. I've identified failing organisations with a number of suppliers where I work, and they have gone bust. I felt the school my kids went to was working badly, so I became a parent governor to try to help, about 6 months before it went in special measures and the head was replaced. The local GP's and local hospitals all have that feel: Lots of activity amounting to not very much.
But to suggest the shibboleth of the NHS is not perfect is a thought crime these days.

And my poor MIL & FIL are stuck in it.

Regards,

Richard

[Serinde]

The NHS in England -- or at least in your part of England -- isn't working. Obviously. It's been starved of money for years and now it is also starved of personnel. You can't magick up trained staff, no matter how you might need them, and Brexit has made things 10x worse. I might be tempted to camp on the GPs' doorstep. I'd certainly go to my MP and raise merry Cain. I'd absolutely keep a record to have evidence of what you and Tracy have done and said, and what the response has been. Can you contact the district nurse? (Have you tried all these things already? Probably.) Presumably "going private" isn't an option -- and why should it be!

I have no complaint with my GPs or our local health board. Elder Son, however, in Greater Glasgow & Clyde, was told yesterday by his GP (whom he doesn't rate) that, yes, he does definitely need a physio for his back, and he's now on the list, but he'll not see one for 3 months on the NHS. However, he could see one tomorrow if he wanted to go privately. Straight from the GP's mouth.

[Mabel Figworthy]

I'd absolutely keep a record to have evidence of what you and Tracy have done and said, and what the response has been.

Or hasn't been.

Yes to contacting the MP and all that Serinde has said (incidentally, re: Eldest's physio, I was told last October to book an appointment with a specialist and found the first available date was August 2023). It really shouldn't be even 10% this hard to get the right care. There are reasons, no doubt, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be tackled - but I fear it can't be tackled from the inside with the lack of staff and resources. Richard, I know what you mean by the person floating about rearranging tidy things - that person was in evidence even when my grandfather went into care in the early 80s. On the other hand, there are also those who work their socks off and are continually disheartened by the feeling, the knowledge, that they simply haven't got the time to provide the care they so dearly would like to give.

But all the dedication in some doesn't help you get through to the ones who aren't responding, whether that is from a lack of caring or a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. We can't do anything practical to help, but if it is at all helpful for you to let off steam here, then please do so as often and as volubly (barring bad language of course - we have standards to maintain ) as you feel necessary.