2023 The Smile for Today is...

[fccs]

I was going through pictures (digitizing everything) and came across this one. It made me laugh when I took the picture and it still makes me laugh. This was in Bourton-on-the-Water in the Cotswolds, taken in 2004.

[rcperryls]

I loved the Cotswolds when I visited the UK, but must have missed that sign. Made me smile just remembering the trip.
Now I have to go look at my photos from then.

Carole

[Roland]

This was on a sign at my physiotherapist’s office.


RULES OF PHYSIOTHERAPY

1. Never say you can’t
because you’ll do it anyway.

2. Never say “It’s easy”,
because we’ll just make it hard.

3. Never say, “I want to go home”,
because you’ll just stay longer.

4. Never lose count
because you’ll start at one again.

5. Never complain
because we never listen.

6. Never argue
because you’ll never win.

7. Never scream or cry
because it only encourages us.

8. Never look like you’re enjoying it
because we’ll put a stop to it.

9. Never hold your breath
because if you pass out we have to fill out the paperwork.

10. Never lie or cheat
because we know the truth and you’ll live to regret it.

[Serinde]

Sounds about right.

[fccs]

I LOVE that!

[rcperryls]

I LOVE that!

Me TOO!

Carole

[richardandtracy]

This may make you smile. I attend a 'Craft & Chat' at our local library every fortnight. It's mostly for knitter's & crochet but we get the occasional cross stitcher and occasional papercrafts. I've been attending since, oh, 2014, just before I joined here.

Well, last Saturday I went as usual, and about half way through the 2 hour session a very serious librarian came up and gave us a right ticking off. For two reasons, first being that the seven of us were being too raucous. And, as a result of the previous meeting, there had been an e-mail complaint to the library about 'inappropriate language and subjects of discussion'. At 58 I'm virtually the youngest attendee (and the only bloke).. We were all flabbergasted. And highly amused. Which led to the librarian pokering up a bit more. We promised faithfully to stop enjoying ourselves quite so much in the future.

Oh dear, oh dear.

Regards,

Richard.

[Mabel Figworthy]

At goldwork classes I have been known to ask students whether they had waxed and tell them their plunging looked good, but I do wonder what you lot were talking about...

[richardandtracy]

Err. I can't remember. It's a general chat session. Families, work, pets, neighbours, whatever, with the chance to talk & learn about craft stuff thrown in too. I really couldn't remember anything untoward. One lady, who's a school dinner lady (and admittedly is a bit forceful & occasionally earthy in her opinions) held her hand up & apologised, but I couldn't remember anything inappropriate from that meeting.
The convener of the meeting was cock-a-hoop about a C2C crochet pattern I had done her for a blanket she's going to give an aunt for the aunt's birthday. Turns out crochet can be done in squares if using a particular stitch (is it a 'Triple'/'Treble' in UK parlance? I know UK & US use different naming of stitches in crochet, but no more than that) & use DMC colours for the thread, so.. I used my cross stitch chart program. Need to re-program the output to give the option of a C2C diagonal output.

Regards,

Richard

[rcperryls]

Seems to me that it is usually younger people (by that I mean anyone under the age of 60) who are astonished to find that older people (especially older women) use coarse language and discuss all sorts of things that shock the younger ones, not because of the words or subjects, but because they are sure we (I'm gonna be 75 this year) either don't know the words or understand the subjects. I cannot begin to imagine what your group, in a library setting, could have said that caused a complaining email, other that that you might have been laughing loudly? Complainant was probably jealous that y'all were having a good time and he or she wasn't part of the group.

Carole

[Mabel Figworthy]

Complainant was probably jealous that y'all were having a good time and he or she wasn't part of the group.

Perhaps the group should invite her in and convert her to enjoyment and laughter!

[Roland]

I used to take grandkids to the library for storytime once a week. I heard someone complaining to a librarian about the noise the kids were to noisy.

~~~~

Speaking of the library….

When I had my 3 year old granddaughter at storytime, there was a little boy sitting beside her. He let go a really watery sounding BM. She turns to him and very loudly says, “Oh MY!!!”. All the adults burst out laughing.

[richardandtracy]

Roland:

Mabel: We try, we do try to get others to join us. Possibly too hard!
Carole: Grannies are supposed to be prim & proper. It's the breaking of expectations that can be so funny.

Regards,

Richard.

[Roland]

Grannies prim and proper? Never.

I have video of my granddaughter at 2 or 3 saying. “Mommy says bad words. Grandma says bad words. Mia never says bad words.”

And a few years later, out of the blue, she says to her dad, “grandma only says bad words in the kitchen”.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Nicked from a stitching friend in another group

[rcperryls]

Carole

[richardandtracy]

<Groan>
Quite clever actually.

Regards,

Richard

[richardandtracy]

I always knew cats were awesome creatures, just never knew exactly how awesome. It's a brave mog that takes on a creature 50x its weight...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/co ... punch_cat/

Regards,

Richard.

[Mabel Figworthy]

But...but.. that looked like a Jersey cow! They are sweet, with huge eyes! Poor little bovine....

[richardandtracy]

With the white & brown, it looks closer to a Hereford to me, but there could be Jersey in there as the head doesn't look as bulky as a Hereford should.

We had a Jersey, my mum called her 'Willow'. Lovely sweet cow, I agree. Milk was so full of cream it was unbelievable. The milk was over 1/3 cream, which set solid on its own when separated. No scalding necessary to make clotted cream. She peaked at 8 gallons (35 litres) a day of milk, but averaged 5.5 gallons (25 litres) per day over a lactation. That's an ENORMOUS amount of cream for a family to cope with.

However, nice as she was, any cat that bopped her on the nose would get kicked.. She was used to the farm cats winding round her legs (they knew where milk came from, after all.. ), but she wasn't going to put up with any nonsense. And when she came bulling, keep well away: You should have seen her skipping down the West Meadow with hind hooves higher than her shoulders, back at 45 degrees to the horizontal.

Regards,

Richard.