Stitching Gifts for People???

[coffee_freak]

I don't. I have in the past..no one seemed to appreciate it..except my best friend I have stitched a few things and I know they are on her wall..but husband, mom,etc..no one seems to appreciate them.

[LaraAmber]

Honestly I worry more about people not appreciating the gift because of the amount I spent on framing. Some people equate handmade with "inexpensive" regardless of the object as though your time isn't worth much or the supplies didn't cost you anything. I've done presents for people where the framing cost was way beyond what I would have normally spent on a store bought gift for the same occasion. If they've never had a custom frame made they might be thinking "oh the little cheapskate spent $30 on a frame". I already have a reputation in the family for being "cheap" because I actually have a household budget and am honest about it.

[fccs]

The Chapel I am working on is the first I have done for someone to give as a gift. Given the special place the actual Chapel holds in their hearts, I am sure they will like it. But, like I said, if they don't, I would rather my friend keep it because I know she would also treasure it (and I really don't want to make a fifth one).

Many years ago I crocheted an afghan for my mom; she liked it, praised me for the work, and them promptly put it away, saying it was too nice to use. When she passed, we found the afghan in a cedar chest where she kept special things. I was sad that she never enjoyed using it; I guess for her the joy was just in having it. (I have it now and it does get used!)

Honestly I worry more about people not appreciating the gift because of the amount I spent on framing. Some people equate handmade with "inexpensive" regardless of the object as though your time isn't worth much or the supplies didn't cost you anything.

And isn't it sad that many people do equate handmade with inexpensive? You just can't put a value on the love that goes into things we make.

[Rose]

Well I don't worry so much that the friend or family member will not like the gift but that they won't use what I have made. I like to make useful gifts and things that should be used, ie towels, pot holders, bags, coasters, pillows and that kind of stuff. I tell the people all the time that you need to use this don't just put it in a drawer and say it is too pretty and I don't want to ruin it. I have one friend that framed a towel because it was too pretty to use. That upset me. It was suppose to be useful not hung on a wall.........

I never worry about anything that I give as a gift be it handmade(that I have done for pleasure) or a bought gift that I give. Once it is gifted it is theirs to do with as they please. If I did not enjoy the time I had making it then maybe I would get up set but since I find joy in the production then I am happy giving the gift. I don't have time or energy to worry what will be done with it.

[MaggieM1750]

.. Many years ago I crocheted an afghan for my mom; she liked it, praised me for the work, and them promptly put it away, saying it was too nice to use. When she passed, we found the afghan in a cedar chest where she kept special things. I was sad that she never enjoyed using it; I guess for her the joy was just in having it. (I have it now and it does get used!)

YES!! This is why I am selective in what things I'll give to Grandma. Because this is absolutely her... and the reason she won't get kitchen towels, or an apron, or anything like that.
When I gave her an eyeglass case.. I looked her right in the eye and said "I want you to use this. Don't put it away because its too nice, or only to be used for special occasions. Its an eye glass case.. I want it to sit next to your computer, or your reading chair, or in your purse. Its to be used.. not just looked at. If were to get damaged.. I will make you a new one." And after her typical hmmming.. she does use it for her knitting glasses.
I have a tablecloth in mind for her.. but have hesitated because I don't want to do all that work.. only for it to sit in a drawer. I don't want it to be an everyday tablecloth.. but I want her to use it for holiday dinners or special days.. and I don't think she would, even for that. (When I do give it to her.. I'll find that clear vinyl overlay that she can put over it.. in hopes that if it won't get stained, she'll be more apt to use it.)

My mother is a bit more comfortable now using the things I have given her. After many of those "use it" speeches. I'll give the same speech to Auntie when I finally finish her chicken towel. Same with everyone else I give usable items to.

[bookknurd]

I find myself either stitching smalls for people (like bookmarks) and the only big pieces I'm doing are for very special occasions, like babies and weddings. I am in the middle of two large projects right now, a wedding sampler and a baby gift. Both of these are for my cousins, who I am relatively close to considering they are cousins.

I feel like you would have to be crazy not to realize how much work goes into these things, especially the big ones. But I'm doing it more because I want them to have something made special for this event that they will (hopefully) cherish forever and connect with a memory of me.

As far as framing goes, I'm going to offer have the wedding sampler custom framed (because it is very beautiful/fancy and I have worked quite hard on it and I want it to be in a nice frame), but I'm going to put in a temporary frame until I give it to my cousin. I have no idea what her house looks like or her interior design style, and I'm not going to pay a ton of money for a frame that doesn't go with her house. I haven't made up my mind about how I will frame the baby sampler.

But I agree, I wouldn't give these kind of gifts without a decent amount of hope that they will be well received.

[destructiveernie]

I'm in the process of designing a wedding sampler, using the KG chart for cross stitch ( can't work out how to share the picture!!!)

It's just the people I'm stitching it for are bit fussy about what they hang on their walls!!!

[MaggieM1750]

Are they helping you with the design process.. or is it a complete surprise?
Is this something you want to do.. or feel obligated to do?
Could you design something smaller, that would fit into a table top frame?
Then they don't have to commit wall space to it.
Or something like a ring pillow... that they could display or keep tucked away with other wedding keepsakes?

Me.. I wouldn't put the time in designing and stitching for someone if I thought they were fussy about their decor.
I say this as a person that is picky about my own walls. But something smaller, I don't stress out as much about. I can have more fun with table top photos. There is something "permanent" about a nail in a wall (even though, its easy peasy to cover up that nail hole.. its a mental block)


(Seriously.. a few months ago, I had a giant string of a Facebook conversation, and subsequent emails from friends, regarding shopping for mugs to hang on hooks in my kitchen. MUGS! I've bought set after set.. purchase- return.. purchase- return. I still haven't found the "right" ones yet. It's stupid.. and I am well aware of how ridiculous it is to stress over something as trivial as finding the right mugs to hang in my kitchen. But.. well.. yeah.. admittedly picky about my walls. I have to be absolutely certain before I'll put a nail into the wall.)

[destructiveernie]

Thank you for the suggestions.
Mum is aware what I'm planning as its for my sister. Mum is planning on stitching their wedding photo

Thanks for the giggle also!!!! I'm sure I'll be the same once I get the house decorated as I want it not as the previous owners had it!!! Money to decorate not in huge supply right not!!!

[Mystonique]

I've had my heart broken before when a stitched piece ended up being a dog toy because no one in the family I gave it to understood or appreciated it's value.

After that I rarely stitch for others and when I do I steel myself to the fact that I can't make the recipient understand the love in it.

I was pleasantly surprised when I stitched a commemorative piece for a friend when she got married. Her husband is a boob to put it mildly and I fully expected him and his family to sneer at my gift but to my surprise he LOVED it and went on to explain to my friend how precious it was, how much time I must have spent on it and what an amazing and thoughtful gift it was ... ironically he also said he never expected anything so amazing from me (I guess our feeling about each other is mutual lol).

[Louise1262]

I have had mixed reactions to gifts in the past, from wrinkled noses to squeals of joy so now only stitch largish pieces for special people and occasions. Smaller gifts like bookmarks I don't worry about.
I know exactly what you mean Maggie about people and holes in walls so my framer always puts a strut on the back so it can be freestanding as well as hung. On the wall you cannot tell and they hang flat. This is good if it's a Christmas picture for instance and not for year round display.
My DH is very good about picture hanging in our home and I currently have 74 hanging pieces and four waiting, he does insist on the correct fixings though as the walls are solid stone under the plaster.

[LaraAmber]

Me.. I wouldn't put the time in designing and stitching for someone if I thought they were fussy about their decor.
I say this as a person that is picky about my own walls. But something smaller, I don't stress out as much about. I can have more fun with table top photos. There is something "permanent" about a nail in a wall (even though, its easy peasy to cover up that nail hole.. its a mental block)

Just add a package of Command hooks to the present. No need for holes in the wall.

[amandadawn]

I don't stitch gifts for people. I don't have a lot of stitching time, and what I do have is usually spent on giant BAPs that will take years. I'm saving those for my own walls and for (hopefully) my children to one day inherit.

Now if THEY mistreat them, I'll come back and haunt them.

[Allyn]

I learned a long time ago, to release my attachment to the outcome. If I give someone something, it's now their's and they can do with it whatever they want to. My joy is in the stitching and in the giving...

What she said. I stitched something very heart-felt for my mother-in-law (husband's mother) and I mean heart-felt like I would get teary-eyed sometimes while stitching it. And she hung it up.... in her bedroom closet. It really irked me, but like Pattie said, my joy was to stitch it and give it to her. Next I stitched something for my other mother-in-law (husband's father's new wife). She was so moved that I'd done it for her that she cried and then I cried and we both cried and hugged (and my husband and his father just rolled their eyes at us) and she immediately set my father-in-law to the task of hanging it in the most prominent place in the house so everyone who enters can view it. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other in two back-to-back gifts. You really do need to release your attachment to the outcome or you'll get your feelings hurt sooner or later.

[Fizzbw]

I do find it hard to release the attachment. I stitched a lovely design of two horses for a friend who then later fell out with me. Now partof me is so worried what she will have done to it!! But it's hers and if she wants to destroy it as she destroyed our friendship I shouldnt be surprised or care.

In general I show my stitched gifts to people before start stitching them. I have several designs kitted up or lined up for certain people who know not to expect them for years!! I like to be able to give someone something I have spent a lot of time and effort on to show them how I appreciated them.

I did start to stitch something for my uncle, but it was a dimensions gold min kit and I started to struggle with the chart. Then I realised that my uncle would not appreciated it and me doing it for him was not going to force him to appreciate it or me! So I stopped and now give him biscuits for Christmas instead.

But not everyone understands the time and effort and more importantly the love and care that goes into every stitched thing. He keeps saying I should do commissions for people with Skitzzzzz's charts, and that people would pay £250 for one. A) I disagree that they would, b) probably copyright issues, and c) and most importantly it's not enough to make me do it for something so dry and unemotional as someone else's project that you don't like.....you've got to have the love. Or I do anyway. Stitching is my joy, my escape and my pride. I found riding horses for a living soured the joy in riding after a while (esp for low pay) and I can imagine this would be even worse for stitching.

Not sure I'm making sense, it's late and I'm hurting!!


Niki xxx