Oh conundrum

[Kute Kitty]

To stitch or not to stitch: That is the question.

Well that's obviously a silly question, the answer will always be "stitch, go nuts, have fun, try to find a way to put more stitching hours in the day".

Here's a better question: Do I stitch something for the unborn child of a receptionist at work who I don't get on with all that well? I did a small birth sampler for the other receptionist's baby son, who just had his first birthday last week, so I don't want this receptionist to feel "cheated" or hard done by, but on the other hand if we didn't work together I would not choose her as a friend. With the lady who had a baby last year, we get on well, we're friends as well as colleagues, and I would happily socialise with her. With this lady, we don't get on especially well, I wouldn't consider her a friend, we have very little in common and I can't imagine ever socialising with her.

So, should I feel somehow honour-bound to stitch something for her, having already put together a couple of things which would be very suitable, or should I just not mention it and do all the other things I would normally do for a pregnant colleague like organise a collection for a selection of gifts for when she leaves, buy a card for everyone to sign, generally treat it the same as someone who doesn't necessarily stitch would do?

[carolynbb]

or should I just not mention it and do all the other things I would normally do for a pregnant colleague like organise a collection for a selection of gifts for when she leaves, buy a card for everyone to sign, generally treat it the same as someone who doesn't necessarily stitch would do?

That's what I would do. I feel guilty too sometimes when I don't stitch something and I think I should (I have like 298347329 friends who are pregnant or have small babies right now and I feel terrible because there's no way I could do something for everyone).

But I try to look at it like this -- it's a gift, not an obligation. The recipient definitely shouldn't feel entitled to receive a hand-stitched present, so I shouldn't feel entitled to make it just because I did it for someone else. I hope that doesn't sound mean!

[kell]

No - I wouldn't go to the trouble of stitching a sampler for someone I'm not friendly with. If you feel totally guilty, then stitch a small card, but don't put yourself out for someone you don't like all that much.

[karen4bells]

I agree with carolynbb and kell--maybe stitch a small card but I definitely wouldn't feel at all obligated to stitch more than that.

[craftymathematician]

I agree with Kell that you shouldn't feel obliged to stitch a sampler for this lady you're not that fond of. If you did, it may devalue the gift you made for the first receptionist who is more of a friend. Sorry, don't know if that makes sense. I know what I mean - hope you do, too!
Stitching a card seems like a good solution.

[Vega]

As it was said, this is a gift, not an obligation. Maybe something small, but I wouldn't put in any great effort for her. I consider my pieces to be special, and only those I'm close to understand and cherish what all goes in to a hand stitched piece.

[Kute Kitty]

Thank you everyone, Wanda that does make perfect sense, and I've even got a simple answer to my conundrum of what to do with the couple of things I've put together - a good friend of mine has just told me she's expecting! I was thinking over what I could do with the stuff I've put together while chatting to her on facebook and thought that maybe I could save them for the next friend who gets a bun in the metaphorical oven. I suggested that if it was her then I'd have about a year to get things ready, as she's getting married in three months. She suggested I might actually only have until about March next year.

MaggieM's mostly-finished birth sampler will now go to the child of Mal and Katy (who will hopefully get her looks), as will the Wimblebees towel, not to mention whatever else I come up with between now and then!

[Jaki :)]

I'm with Kell & the others stitch a small card instead x I'm a big beleiver in karma & if she gives out negative karma then she can't expect the good kind to come back to her

[Bridge]

It sounds like you found a perfect solution already.

But I will chime in that I agree with the others. I also usually weigh in if I think the recipient will appreciate a gift of stitching?? If not I usually just go with a plain ol present.

[vanessanjf]

I wouldn't bother if I was not friendly with someone. I feel stitched gifts are very personal to be given to close friends and family who will appreciate the time and effort gone into making them. You should just buy her a small gift.

[agi]

I agree with everyone else. Your stitching is special. Should go to special people.

[Kute Kitty]

To be honest I don't think the receptionist would appreciate a stitched gift, she certainly wouldn't understand that it would be worth more than something purchased, so I'll stick with purchased gifts for her and hand-crafted gifts for my friend. She's in to crafts of various kinds so does understand the effort and the love that goes in to them What a perfectly timed result.

[Mabel Figworthy]

My first thought was definitely not a stitched gift but possible a pretty but quick stitched card?

[Nachstenliebe]

Sounds like a great solution to this conundrum!
Faith

[Kute Kitty]

I'll just have to look through my charts to find something gender-neutral (she decided not to find out the sex) to stitch on a card for Abi. Oh what a shame, I'll just have to play with my stash! Such hardship!

Thank you everyone for reminding me to value what I do a bit more