Stitcher's Diet

natural_isis · Post by **natural_isis** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:00 pm

Hope everyone enjoys it. I posted this several years ago, but thought some of the newer members might enjoy it.

8 P.M.
Sit down with stitching. Realize with alarm that not all cushioning underneath you is attached to chair. Notice small stain from chocolate cake yesterday. Realize that you had remembered to wash hands, but had neglected to brush crumbs from shirt. Resolve to do much better with eating habits and focus more on stitching.

8:45 P.M.
Realize that floss you are using resembles dark chocolate. Remember dark chocolate ice cream in freezer. Begin to rise. Remember stain on previous project from same ice cream, not to mention non-chair related padding. Sit back down and resume stitching.

9:30 P.M.
Contemplate making chocolate chip cookies. As a snack. For the children. Remember that all the children are either married or in college, the dog doesn't eat cookies, and your husband made a fat joke earlier and doesn't deserve chocolate chip cookies. Go back to stitching.

9:45 P.M.
Have a sudden craving for cheese. Remember new bag of Cheetos in kitchen. Begin to rise. Remember Cheeto related accident involving project that is now clogging landfill. Sit back down and resume stitching.

10:15 P.M.
Mouth becomes dry. Contemplate bottle of water without enthusiasm. Would much rather have mocha latte. Remember knocking over mocha latte last week resulting in mocha "dyed" fabric. Reach for water bottle. Take long tasteless drink. Resume stitching.

11:00 P.M.
Look at clock. Realize that it is time for bed. Arise with sense of satisfaction for progress on project and strength of willpower. Remember box of truffles in nightstand. Remember extra padding. Sigh deeply. Sit back down and resume stitching.

Spend next hour contemplating the sense of unfairness that although stitching exercises your brain, it does nothing for your thighs.

Thanks to you geekishly, we all now know that the last statement is not actually true. Thank you again for your post. It adds an additional benefit to an activity that we all love.

wwdiva · Post by **wwdiva** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:34 pm

Hilarious!!

millymolly · Post by **millymolly** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:42 pm

haha thats a good one

rcperryls · Post by **rcperryls** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:46 pm

wwdiva wrote:Hilarious!!

agree completely.

Mabel Figworthy · Post by **Mabel Figworthy** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:49 pm

That definitely put a smile on my face

-- now, dare I show it to DH....

Stitchinkitty · Post by **Stitchinkitty** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:06 pm

Brings back memories of chocolate biscuits that melt in the heat and shed chocolate!!!

Squirrel · Post by **Squirrel** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:09 pm

Oh yes Marilyn, as well as chewy caramel sweets !!!!

JA Fan · Post by **JA Fan** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:12 pm

I love that!

geekishly · Post by **geekishly** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:19 pm

That's great, thanks for sharing!

calico · Post by **calico** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:18 am

Love it

NinjaBetty · Post by **NinjaBetty** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:32 am

lol this is just too darn funny. I actually laughed so hard that the cat jumped about three feet in the air. I guess I scared her.Ahhh this is just what I needed!

Rose · Post by **Rose** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:15 pm

So funny!!!!!!

Totality · Post by **Totality** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:12 pm

=0) very funny!! and so true

Lessa54 · Post by **Lessa54** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:58 pm

Brilliant

Mystonique · Post by **Mystonique** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:02 am

I really struggle with that will power bit - despite the extra padding and the shrinking chair problem.

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