Giving cross stitch presents

[Mummy_of_Tia]

I don’t know if there’s a topic about presents, I tried to look for one because I don’t think what I’m about to say deserves a whole new thread.. but in case there’s isnt we can’t use this one to discuss presents and if they are appreciated?

I was looking at a funny Italian Facebook page and around this time of the year they allow people to submit ugly presents they received for Christmas (the actual name of the post is “presents made of poo” - just a lot more vulgar wording than that!!) anyway, it’s a place where people post presents that are ugly or done without any thought in them and so on.. it has things like “a single dirty sock” or “a box of tissues” “mop and bucket” and so on.. but as I was scrolling I find a cross stitching embroidery, and I felt really sad for the person that did that embroidery to have their work in this post together with dirty socks and this kind of things.

How can someone say that something handmade is “poo”?
I just imagine this person thinking of their loved one that was going to receive the gift, every stitch they are thinking of that person like I’m doing now that i’m stitching a present for my mother, and they just sent it to this Facebook no page to be mocked.

It made me very sad.

The comments under the picture were saying that whoever submitted the picture should be ashamed of themselves, at least nobody made fun of it!

Have you ever had a bad experience when stitching something for someone else?
What are your experiences with embroidery or hand made gifts? (Or more specifically, cross stitched gifts?)

[DahliaDoll]

That is a sad circumstance but very uplifting that other commenters appreciated the thoughtfulness the gift represented and did not join in to ridicule the gift.

My youngest DD did let me know that she is not a cross stitch fan, so I don't do CCS for her that I would expect her to display as part of her décor. It's just not her style. I do, however, make her CCS greeting cards and she did approve a CCS birth record for her DD, and I've made her a tote bag with a CCS motif on it. Before she expressed that CCS wasn't her thing, I had made her a Christmas-themed quilted wall hanging that had some CCS motifs on it. She had it displayed this year and commented that she liked it!

I made a calendar board for one DGD with Lesley Teare's monthly fairies (so cute) to change out every month. I wasn't sure she was using it, but one year I failed to get her the new year's calendar for it, and she reminded me! Now I want to do calendars for my younger grandchildren. I'm going to start Lesley Teare's 2019 SAL owls soon … I hope.

So far, so good, I guess.

[Serinde]

I think it's an ugly thing to do no matter what the present. How do people find humour or -- worse -- pleasure in belittling a gift?

[Angelite]

Sending a single dirty sock to someone as a Christmas present? That has to be a joke right? Yes, it's very sad that the person who received the cross stitch gift really felt that it belonged in the same category as dirty laundry. I am also glad that other people posted comments in support of that poor stitcher's hard work and effort, probably not to mention the money they might have spent on fabric, floss and chart. Some people...eh?

I have stitched a lot of projects as gifts. In fact most of them and many of them went to recipients who I am no longer in touch with. I wonder what happened to my work? I suspect the worst to be honest. Anyway, now I am more discerning who I stitch for and I am enjoying the process of actually stitching and keeping my finished work for myself. At least I know just how much work went in to it and how loved it is and it will be around for as least as long as I am!

[Mabel Figworthy]

That is a sad circumstance but very uplifting that other commenters appreciated the thoughtfulness the gift represented and did not join in to ridicule the gift.

I think it's an ugly thing to do no matter what the present. How do people find humour or -- worse -- pleasure in belittling a gift?

Hear hear.

I tend to stitch cards for people rather than gifts (unless I know beforehand it's going to be appreciated - my mother was always a safe recipient ) and they tend to get appreciative comments. If I stitch a gift "unannounced" and unasked for (like the wedding piece for Eldest and DIL) I make sure it can be displayed how they like - or not at all, if they prefer. I will lace this piece and give it to them like that, and they can choose to display it like that (a bit like a canvas), or if they would like it framed I'll ask them to get a frame they really like and we'll pay for it, or if they want to keep it in a drawer with the wedding pics and just take it out and look at it occasionally that's fine too

[Kuschelschaf]

I think it's interesting that you bring up this topic. It's always been a fear of mine. It makes me sad that someone would do that, but I don't find it surprising at all.

It's this very reason that I don't stitch for other people unless they themselves are stitchers. I made one piece for a friend and she loved it. But then again, she was a stitcher, too. I made a cross-stitch card for another person and they viewed it as my being "too cheap to buy a card". I think she may have thrown it away. Another person thought handmade stuff was "cheap junk", so I ended up just buying a candle instead.

My husband showed me something on facebook where it said something like "if someone makes you a present, they aren't being cheap, they are giving you their time and effort and they are doing it because they love you" -- I wish more people shared that sentiment.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Kuschelschaf I have just shared it - on my FB timeline. It needs all the publicity we can give it!

[Mummy_of_Tia]

I think the whole thing of sharing with the internet “ugly gifts” is disrespectful, no matter the gift.
But the cross stitched one really hurt me when I saw it.

Sending a single dirty sock to someone as a Christmas present? That has to be a joke right?

I wonder wether some people have just taken pictures of random stuff they have at home and submitted the pictures saying it was a gift, just to appear on this page (it is one of the most famous pages in Italy, that’s how I know about it, it appeared on my feed)

[rcperryls]

I can't think of anyone who actually didn't like something I stitched for them, except though he accepted it with thanks, my father never did really like the motif of an afghan I gave him. I think it was a southwestern style, which I stitched more for me than for him. the subject had no meaning to him and he suggested that the next one, if I made him another, should have a golf or sports theme instead. I learned from that to make sure that I found the right theme if it was an afghan or the right subject if it was a framed piece. I think I would be so hurt if anything I did showed up on that kind of FB page. It is not just rude it is cruel. I really like and agree with Kuschelschef's husband view and am glad that you are giving it more publicity, Mabel.

Carole

[Garnet]

And that right there is another reason why I will never join FB.

I do wonder at people sometimes, "keyboard warriors" say things online that they would never dare say to the person's face, I also wonder if people post random things to get a kick out of being the most outrageous.

Sometimes I wonder what has happened to things I have given over the years, but I figured that once it's gone from me it is up to the other person what they do with it. I have had people say they love their card(s) so much they framed it, and this year, well, last year now, there were tears from two people, so I guess I must be doing something right.

.

My husband showed me something on facebook where it said something like "if someone makes you a present, they aren't being cheap, they are giving you their time and effort and they are doing it because they love you" -- I wish more people shared that sentiment.

Wise words indeed

I always treasure ANYTHING hand/home made exactly for that reason

[Angel]

I was elsewhere in the web and someone had stitched something for her mum, but without actually paying ANY attention to her mums individual likes. So while she spent time, effort and money on making her mum this gift...it was something that belonged in a Nursery. She loved it, but honestly...it's the sort of thing my daughter would have turned to me and said "I'm not a baby. It's for baby" I wouldn't have had any use for it and her 50+ year old mother had no idea what had possessed her daughter. To make it worse, it was a wearable. She'd made her mother something to wear in public that my 3 year old thought was too young. So I get it.

That said...it's just ugly to go out of your way to be nasty about people no matter what the gift was. People who gain validation by insulting others are just ugly. And the polite thing to do is either have a quite word with the sender, appreciating the time and effort but explaining that it's not to taste or shut up.

[richardandtracy]

Hmm. I'm both for and against this, which leads to splinters from sitting on the fence.

On the 'against' side...
I like what I like, and if someone gives me something I don't like, I'm afraid I cannot bring myself to like it because it was a gift. This Christmas I was given a vest by my MIL, in blue and with a T shirt neck. I cannot bear things tight around my neck like a T Shirt, and all my vests have to be white so as not to show through my shirts - vests showing through shirts on men is as passé as coloured bra's showing through white blouses on women. My MIL knows my preferences, but buys me clothes she'd like me to wear rather than ones I want to wear. Sorry, but that ain't going to happen. Also, if someone was to do me a 'cute' or 'twee' little bit of cross stitch, I'd come to believe they hate me with total all consuming ferocity. I am far from quiet in my opinions about cute-tweeness, and to receive some in the face of those.. oh the hatred it'd be demonstrating.

On the 'for' side...
It really isn't fair to present that amount of work as being worthy of ridicule. It was probably done in the mistaken belief the recipient would like it. Done with the best of intentions, and showing an investment of time, attention and effort to create. It shows the recipient really means something to the giver. (Just have to hope the 'meaning' is positive .)

So, I can muster feeling on both sides of the argument, and can't come down firmly in favour of one or the other.

Regards,

Richard.

[Roland]

I made a stocking for someone’s baby. They didn’t even say thank you. And the Christmas pictures showed a cheap store bought stocking.

I also make quilts. I apologized to one of my grandson’s because I had given his older brother one, and his younger sister one, but somehow missed him. So I asked if he had any particular colours he would like in his. He kind of got embarrassed, and told me he just got a brand new quilt that he loves and he didn’t want me wasting my time on one that wouldn’t get used. He said that because of his issues with textures when he gets a quilt he likes he sticks with it. ~~~Of course, that was not rude. I appreciate that he told me.