Advice needed.

[Marmalord]

I am delighted to have stumbled across this on line dwelling place for fellow ‘stitcher's’ – and having looked at the friendly tone of the residents posts feel confident that here I will find the advice that I need..

In the past my hobby has been one of my guilty secrets, but if I am honest I have always had a deep (if sometimes hidden) love of needlecraft.

It would be fair to say that like most young heterosexual men, my ‘football friends’ ‘motor-racing mates’ and ‘public house pals’ have all struggled to display any genuine interest in my crafty endeavours.

Previously knitting has been at the heart of my craft work, but I have often flirted with the idea of cross stitch.

Finally I laid the ‘big needles’ down, and took the plunge. It is two weeks now since I was seduced by a L. S. Lowry template and starter set and I really need some help.

Unlike knitting, that I always found to be really therapeutic - this whole cross stitching business seems to make me deeply angry.

It really nags away at me like the radio that is not quite tuned in properly, or the buzz of an invisible fly. It would seem that put simply, cross stitching actually makes me ‘cross’.

Has anyone else encountered this?
Could it be part of the learning process?
Or do you think that cross stitch and I are just not happy bedfellows?

Thanks
Marmalord

[mags]

Sorry that cross stitching is making you rather cross - if you could say what exactly is making you cross would possibly help. Have you maybe taken on a difficult design to start with - I have just done a search on lowry cross stitch design and found some Bothy Thread kits. They do look a tad detailed and maybe a smaller first project would be in order.

By the way we do have other male members, who will probably understand your plight regarding your friends. In particular, our very own Mr X Stitch is now becoming famous in his own right.

[coffee_freak]

I agree with mags..
sometimes it's the first chosen design.
It can be calming..as a mother of 2 I find it helpful in the evenings to help me unwind.
But it wasn't always like that.
I didn't know all the tricks to keep thread from getting tangles and knots..etc
I would keep at it..read up a lot..and maybe start small..

and welcome!

[Kute Kitty]

Try stitching something different, it might be just this pattern that's not agreeing with you - and it'd be a real shame if you were put off because of it! Try a Mouseloft design maybe, they're fun, they're colourful, they're uncomplicated and they're very cute! I'm actually trying to decide at the moment which one of my three that I have in front of me to give to a friend to try to get her into stitching...!

[~threadbear~]

I think it's hard to give much advice until we know the exact nature of your difficulties but if you can explain further, I'm sure you'll get all the help and encouragement you need.

[Rose]

I agree with the other ladies and we would love to help you in anyway that we can but you have to start slow and from the beginning. Are you having trouble with the counting??? Are the threads giving you fits??? Does the design not suit your style??? and on and on and on.

[Serinde]

Where's MrXStitch?? (in the meantime, have a look at his website?)

I would hazard a guess that you are an accomplished knitter, and that cross stitch is totally new? It may be that the design, although it undoubtedly looks wonderful (and my MIL did numerous Lowry's, being from Salford!, and they adorn my walls now), it might be fiddly to do. Perhaps not the best first choice, although if you love the pattern... Most of us have bitten off more than we can chew at some point -- usually at the beginning! I wouldn't think that would really account for your crossness.

Perhaps, as a needle art, cross stitch isn't your thing (paint by numbers with thread, as someone once said). But don't despair! It forms a component of other disciplines: hardanger, drawn thread, assisi work... (Perhaps you ought to be a weaver??)

Anyway, have a look around the forum, and build up your presence so that you can go explore the galleries. That might help, because craft is at its heart a creative process (obviously ) and should inspire you and give you pleasure. Hang with us a while!

[Becca]

It could be that cross stitch requires a lot more concentration than knitting, as you have to carefully study the pattern and count the stitches. It might be that you need to see cross stitch as a completely different thing to knitting, but if it's not for you then it's not for you. Make sure you have a design you really love, and that it's not too difficult for a first one.

And there's nothing wrong with a man cross stitching, my boyfriend does.

[esseff]

I am new to cross stitching too, and I started with a simple sampler. I found I got into a nice rhythm when I was about half-way through - the first half I really struggled with. I've since gone on to stitch a wedding picture which was more complicated. If I'd have tried to do the harder design as my 1st project I'm sure I would have given up, because it did get very confusing with all the colour changes, and lots of similar colours, but I feel like the first picture gave me the groundwork, so to speak. I'd say, maybe put the Lowry aside and do something simpler until you're actually enjoying your stitching, then go back to it.

I like to knit as well, and I think you need to get your head round the fact that cross stitching does not produce such fast results as knitting. I had no idea quite how long it takes to stitch even a tiny area when I first started. But the results are definately worth it, and I think its actually making me a more patient person in general.

My 8 year old son has asked for a cross stitch kit for his birthday, by the way. I'm all for him taking this hobby up. I think boys in particular often have trouble concentrating and I'm hoping this will help him to focus at school as well as be a hobby he can continue throughout his life.

[Mabel Figworthy]

How nice that your son is thinking of giving cross stitch a try! Do find him a kit that shows (relatively) quick results, and has a design he likes -- but the former is probably more important than the latter, as shown by my youngest stepson, who insisted on trying for his first ever cross stitch project a polar bear in white and four shades of grey on black evenweave... needless to say, it never got finished !

[esseff]

This is the one I've chosen for him:

http://www.superstitcher.co.uk/product. ... =66&sid=53" target="_blank" target="_blank

[Rose]

Those are perfect for young stitchers. I hope he enjoys his stitching.

[Mabel Figworthy]

That'll be a great first project for him -- don't forget to post pictures of his progress!

[~threadbear~]

Oh I bet he loves that!

[Busy_B]

Marmalord, I think the others have given you some good advice. It does take a little bit of adjustment going from one needlecraft to another one that you're not familiar with. It might also be your choice of a first project.

I don't remember my husband getting angry at stitching, but he struggled quite a bit with his first project and never finished it. He has always painted the small plaster houses, so he has the patience to do different crafts. About a year ago (around 5 years after he gave up on the other project), he said that he wanted to do some of the kits we had just bought for our kids. He picked up a simple one of The Little Mermaid with areas of a single color. It definitely helped him, and he was so proud when he finished it. Since then he's done a tiger for his sister and has slowly been working on some horses for our son.

You're not the only guy who does needlework. We have several on here. Both my father and father-in-law crocheted at one point in time. It doesn't matter what the other boys think. As long as you have found something that you enjoy, that's the important thing. I hope that you are able to get over this bump with cross stitching and start enjoying it! Feel free to ask about anything!

[nettie]

Yes Marmalord it can make you very cross sometimes I think the other ladies have forgotten about that nasty little frog that sits on hoops waiting for a mistake to appear that makes us all very cross!!!!

However I started stitching 13 years ago back in January. My first project was out of a magazine my mum had bought. It was of a lady in full Welsh costume. When I chos it I didn't realise how difficult it was. It had fractionals, blended threads and a little petit point! A nightmare and I was very cross with it and couldn't understand how my mum got on with that stupid new hobby of hers! Then my boyfriend at the time spotted it on the coffee table while I was out of the room. He asked my mum what it was and she explained he was very complimentary to her about it (Iwas listening at the door he didn't know I was there). I decided to perservere with it. Unfortunately I didn't finish the piece I left the fractionals and petit point and have just never got back to it. Anyway back to the present I am now an addict and have numerous charts and kits waiting for me to find time to do them all and apart from the frog making me cross I find this hobby so theraputic! My friends don't understand how I find it so relaxing when it can be so annoying. I tell them because you get so engrossed in it you might be getting wound up by your project but you forget everything else causing you annoyance in your life.

Please tell us what you are finding annoying it maybe something we can help with! Oh and forget your gender we have spent so long fighting to be accepted into a man's world its about time the men got involved in what has traditionally been a woman's thing!!!

[Krissy]

Hello and welcome!!!

The ladies have all given some great advice. Cross stitch does take a while to complete but they are deffinately worth the time and effort. I'm like C_F, I do it to relax after a day of work and kids. At one point in time there was a thread on here that had all the advice anyone had to give to a beginner, I can't find it, maybe someone else knows where it is or you will stumble across it reading through the forum. But maybe it will help, I know it had just about any advice a beginner would need for any issue they would stumble across. It may be in the tips and tricks section.