No longer doing OSU logo :( Need some friendly words

[caitief]

So I have been working on an Ohio State University logo for the past few months but I am officially stopping.

See it was a wedding gift for my best friend who I had known since we were six. Well, I am not going to the wedding and I am out of her life, so I am no longer working on it.

It is a long story but basically I went from begin matron of honor to not even being in the wedding and I was never told I wasn't in the wedding. So until two months ago I thought I still was. We had a condo, booked flights, rented a car, and I put in for vacation (half of what I get all year because the wedding was destination on a Wednesday).

Yesterday, pictures were posted of the bachelorette party...which I wasn't invited to. I finally texted her and asked if she even wanted me there. It turned into a whole thing (all over text) and I am not in the wedding because her fiancee doesn't like me. Apparently there was an incident on facebook (seriously??) eight months ago and he decided he didn't want me in the wedding and she didn't fight for me. But instead of telling me there was a problem and trying to work anything out, she just ditched me. Didn't call me on my birthday, never returned calls or texts, and started being mean and i had no idea why.

So now I am not going to the wedding. We were able to cancel everything and are going to see my family instead. I am angry, but I am also heartbroken. She was like a sister to me and to see I meant that little.

My husband wasn't a big fan of her (looking back, she hasn't been treating me great the past few years) but he would NEVER say she couldn't be in the wedding or anything.

I have no one to give the logo to now, so if anyone has a loved one who loves OSU and you would like to finish a really pretty logo for them, send me a message. I will mail it to you with the supplies I have (it is on 22 count). I don't want the 80+ hours I have spent on it already to go to waste, but I need it out of my house.

[Rose]

That os really uncool. How can you not tell something this important. I would say that this.person does not know what a friend is and has no backbone to let a spouse to be ditate who your friends are. You are much better without this type of person in your life. No need for toxicrelationships. I am sorry that you.are having this happen.

[mags]

So sorry about this - it is always sad when a long friendship ends, for whatever reason, and facebook stuff just makes me cross. It does sound like you would be better off without her if she hasn't been that nice to you recently and to renege on wedding arrangements like this is just awful. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Hope you can find a good home for your stitching.

[JA Fan]

OMG! What shoddy treatment. She should have at least given you the courtesy of a proper explanation. Then you would have a chance of defending yourself. That is deplorable behaviour from someone who had been your friend for many years.
And all the work you've put into her wedding gift too.
I don't hold out much hope for her marriage if she lets her would-be spouse dictate who her friends are.
No wonder you're upset. I would be as well.

As for Facebook, I see it rears it's ugly head, once more.

I hope you find someone to take your stitching.
Sending you lots of for comfort.

[backafteradozenyrs]

I'm so sorry you had to find out this way! No one can hurt us so much as the ones we love.

I'm sorry your former friend isn't so mature and you're having to go through this...that's great that you were able to change your plans, though

[mauveme]

Sounds like she is getting herself married to a control freak. It's a shame you had to go through all the b/s and left with stitching. She is going go find herself with no friends, what a shame.....

[rcperryls]

I get so mad when I hear about something like this. I think once you are over the hurt of being treated so so so very poorly you will realize that this woman has not really been a friend for a very long time. And I agree with Linda that she is in for a difficult time because this fiance soon to be husband will start to not like any of her friends soon. That is no excuse for her not returning a text or a phone call and letting you know what was going on. If she was too embarrassed (which she should be) to tell you directly she could have texted or emailed you I'm so glad that you were able to cancel all of your travel plans and will now get the time to spend with family which will be a lot more enjoyable I'm sure.

Carole

[Fizzbw]

I agree with all of them! it's nothing to do with you, your personality or anything, it's her problem and her cowardice. Don't let it dent your self confidence, please.

I'm rather afraid that she will be needing you in the future, as this pattern of behaviour from the fiancé does NOT augur well imo, and she might yet be crying on your shoulder in a few years time. All very sad.

Such a shame about the logo. I bet you want to send it to her unfinished to show her how hard you worked on it! I really hope it finds a home. Maybe ring the alumni association at the Uni to see if they can rehome it?

Big hugs, we've most of us been there, and the hurt does get better and friendships do heal if it's meant to be.

Niki xxxx

[MaggieM1750]

Sorry for the loss of a long friendship. Even though it would have been a difficult conversation- there are more gracious ways of asking someone to step down then just avoiding them. Or to have a conversation with you 8 months ago about whatever happened that upset her fiancée.

With all this drama before the wedding.. it may be a blessing in disguise that you are out of the event. (Even with the crappy way you were uninvited) Which is terrible being that you have known this person as long as you have.

I was invited to a wedding where I knew there would be a lot of drama (I was just a guest, not in the wedding party) and decided to not attend because I didn't want to be any part of it. And well, too many drunk guests + drunk wedding party + big drama mamas on both sides = Police were called and the catering hall kicked them out and closed their doors before the cake was cut. Glad I wasn't there. We don't speak anymore because of my choice to not attend her wedding.

[CrossStitchHappy]

I was in my supposed best friends wedding in late April, and it was a total fiasco. (Maid of Honor dress cost me a ton, the bridal shower was at my house, she invited 15 people, but her SIL invited another 30, I had over 50 people at my house, and my house is SMALL!!, the batchelorette party was on a day that I had to work and she knew that, I had given her dates before hand, I paid for EVERYTHING - her hair, makeup, tanning.. it was a disaster) I can feel your pain, and I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

In my opinion, it's not fair what your "friend" was doing to you - and it's only going to get worse for her once she marries this total control freak. In hindsight, she could have asked you if you would have minded stepping down.

About the stitchery, I have no words of wisdom for you, unless you want to donate it to the Alumni Association or something.

[caitief]

Thank you all for your kind words. I hate that I have been so busy and not able to be on this board much lately since you are all so nice!

Thanks again everyone. I am trying to look on the bright side, it just sucks

[JenEric]

I am sorry to hear of the pain you are going through.

I'm rather afraid that she will be needing you in the future, as this pattern of behaviour from the fiancé does NOT augur well imo, and she might yet be crying on your shoulder in a few years time. All very sad.

Niki xxxx

This is actually very similar to the first thought I had while reading your post. Unfortunately, sometimes friends lose sight of those that have been such an important part of their lives.

[geekishly]

That's awful of her. I really hope you're able to find a new home for the stitching project. It would be a real waste to throw out that much work.

[tiffstitch]

That is rotten! I'm glad you'll be able to salvage the time off to see your family, but it's a bitter situation. I hope time will help, and as for your wonderful piece, if you can face finishing it, I'd send it to your alumni association. Mine (IU) is always contacting me for money, so I'm sure they could raffle it off, or frame it in their offices! Or if you just need it gone I hope someone will finish it for you. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[Mystonique]

It is no consolation but sounds like your friend has a steep learning curve ahead of her and a lot of growing up to do. In the long run she'll either come back or she wasn't worth the trouble to start with.

I hope you find a good home for your hard work, I know exactly how heartbreaking it is when your work goes to waste because the person you worked for doesn't have the maturity to realise how much it meant.

[BizzieLizzie]

I can only echo what the others have said. No one should treat anyone like that. Big hugs.

[Mabel Figworthy]

I'm so sorry that you've had this hurtful experience; and I realise that even if your brain says "I'm well out of it!" your heart may take a while to see it that way. Do take time to grieve for a lost friendship, but don't let it affect your confidence, or your trust in other friends!

[wendywombat]

I can only echo what the others here have said!

With friends like that..... who needs 'em HUH!



Don't let it get to you!!! You're worth more than that!!