Perceived value of needlework

[gparr]

Our greater family does a gift exchange when we gather on Dec. 24. It's an elaborate thing in which you open a gift, then the next person can either open another gift or take your gift. The next person can open a gift or take any other opened gift, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes it's tedious but most of the time it's semi-fun.

This year, the gift you contribute has to be locally purchased or homemade. Maximum value is $30. I suggested to my wife that I would stitch two ornaments for our gifts, knowing that the value of silk thread, canvas, charts, and time would well exceed $30.

Her reaction was, "What else will we give with the ornaments?" I replied that the ornaments were worth much more than the spending limit. Her response was, "Nobody will think those are worth even close to $30." I replied that if that was the case I'll not make the ornaments.

Kind of bothers me that all of that time and effort would not be perceived as having much value.

Gary

[ELstitcher]

"Kind of bothers me that all of that time and effort would not be perceived as having much value."

That would be my frustration as well, and would probably keep me from doing the project for a gift exchange. I'm doing my first kit, and have watched my wife do 3 or 4 projects over the past year and half. I've seen (and now I'm experiencing) everything that goes into taking something from start to finish, and it's no small feat.

At a gift exchange, you run the risk that your efforts may go less appreciated than if you would have done the same project for a specific party (one who you're sure would understand what you go through to knock something like this out).

[mauveme]

It's the same when trying to sell needlework, Some pieces can take up to 200 hrs to complete, charge the mininum employment wage and that's$2000, never mind the cost of the supplies. No one would pay that any where near that kind of money for "just hand stitching". Very frustrating,

[MaggieM1750]

I think this the opposite in my circle of friends and family _because_ most everyone is a crafter of some sort. Some knit, others do cards and scrapbooking, sews.. something. Or their wife does, or son, or mother, etc. So, they know what goes into making "that little thing". I've also wondered if dragging projects around makes them more aware of the effort involved in them.
I think my family would value a set of hand stitched ornaments on the same level as say.. a set of stamped and embellished greeting cards, chainmaille earrings, coasters made from thin slices of the giant tree branch that fell in the back yard, or a day planner filled in with important family dates, and a few ideas for date night each month. Actual material investment for all of those is minimal.. but its through working with it that increases the value. Just like stitching- material investment can be very minimal.. but the outcome has value. And a set of ornaments is certainly on par with a $30 swap.

I've heard of the gift swap done your way as "screw your neighbor" but not when its been "real" gifts. I've only heard of it done with silly, pink elephant gifts.

[Stitchinkitty]

Sad but true.Unles the recipient have a needlework background they would have no idea of the time,effort and expense.

[fccs]

And a set of ornaments is certainly on par with a $30 swap.

I agree.

[annkor26]

I know exactly what you mean and it bothers me too. What is that phrase about knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing?

[rcperryls]

I guess I am lucky also because my family also knows that the time that goes into the gift is the real gift not how much the afghan fabric or fabric or frame cost. Like Linda said no one would pay for the hours of work at minimum wage because it would be soooooo expensive. I think its a shame that your family will miss out on some beautiful ornaments. Their loss.

Carole

[cairee]

I guess I am lucky also because my family also knows that the time that goes into the gift is the real gift not how much the afghan fabric or fabric or frame cost. Like Linda said no one would pay for the hours of work at minimum wage because it would be soooooo expensive. I think its a shame that your family will miss out on some beautiful ornaments. Their loss.

Carole

oh so true! I will gift stitching, but only to those that have done needlework or other time consuming crafting. others just dont appreciate the value of your time. ( I wouldnt value it at minimum wage either, its skilled labor, thats at least $25/hr)

[socialsue]

I agree with stitchinkitty..... I have had that experience before and now I only stitch for my family members that knows how much effort, time and labor is involved.

socialsue

[curly sue]

I crochet as well as cross stitch. I never give my work unless I know the person will appreciate it or has requested that I make them something. My first stitchy gift to someone was tossed aside like the torn wrapping paper.

[Bella]

Well, I've mentioned this in a couple of my posts, I'm very picky about who I gift my work to ( and I'm not even that great of a stitcher). I have only given two away to non family members & I've been stitching for over 20 years.

I'm a selfish stitcher !!!

[Bella]

Why thank you. You mentioned a good point, if someone asked me to stitch something for them, I would. Them asking would make me feel like they would appreciate it. My MIL, actually asked me to make her something, I finished it last week, it's getting framed I will post a pic when I get it back.

[Mabel Figworthy]

It is a sad fact that some people do not and never will appreciate the care, time, love, skill and effort that go into stitched gifts. For them, a shop-bought present is the answer that will save you a lot of heartache.

On the other hand (and I'm playing devil's advocate here), generally giving presents is about what the receiver wants/would like/will enjoy. It is for this reason, for example, that we have Stashmas wishlists. However much I enjoy a particular thing (crochet, tatting, Hardanger, woodwork, vintage cars, stamp collecting), if the person I am giving the present to doesn't share that interest it wouldn't be much good to give such a present (unless you are trying to make converts ).

Hand-made presents fall somewhere in between "giving what you like" and "giving what the recipient likes", I think -- in giving them something stitched, you are not implying that they should take up stitching, you are merely giving them something beautiful which you enjoyed making and which you hope they will enjoy using/seeing. So if what you have stitched is relevant to them (a tea cosy for a tea addict, a car picture for a car enthusiast, a bookmark for a bookworm) it is the perfect present, giving pleasure to both parties!

Anyone who carps about the monetary value of presents does not deserve presents in the first place.

[cairee]

Anyone who carps about the monetary value of presents does not deserve presents in the first place.

indeed!

[Serinde]

Anyone who carps about the monetary value of presents does not deserve presents in the first place.

Absolutely.

As gparr said, it's dispiriting that the time and effort -- and skill -- isn't perceived to have much value. But why is that? My own view is that we have been tricked into thinking that mass produced, identical Thneeds are much better than thoughtful presents made individually. We can all buy posters of a Picasso, but I'd be willing to bet none of us could afford an original, and which has intrinsically greater value? The original, of course, which is most definitely NOT a Thneed. (Thneeds, for non Dr Suess readers, are "very fine somethings that nobody needs").

Then there's the issue of having what we do downgraded from an art (as it most certainly was in the past), to a craft. That the "craft" aspect arose only after the mechanisation of the textile industry isn't, I don't think, an accident.

[Rose]

After reading what you all have expressed I feel a bit funny. Every year I make and gift handmade gifts to my friends and family. I work on them through out the year and give them with pride to the people I love. Very few of them are crafters and I have never felt that the gift was in anyway looked down upon.

Yes to a certain degree I personalize them. ie the cup cozies that I am making each has a picture that reflects the persons interest but would they have asked for this gift I doubt it. Once I have given a gift I do not worry myself with will they like it will they use it will it be pitched in a dark corner never to be seen again........... nope I give it and I know I made it with love and give it from the heart.

I stitch be it cross stitch, crochet, sewing because I get joy from it and I want to make a unique gift for a person. I don't want to give a brainless store bought piece of junk. So for me giving a bought gift is more worrisome then giving a handmade one.

[crosstitcher1]

Wow Gary, you brought up a "awful" memory from my "late" sis.
Since she was 14 years old, til May of this year, before she passed, she has/had embroidered.
In 1980, she made all the family, including nieces and nephews, embroidered table scarfs. The nephews and nieces just threw theirs in the trash and stated, "We do not care for "home made" stuff." You all should had seen my Mom. She went "ballistic", after seeing them do that and also seeing my sis just "crumble" at the trash can, crying her heart out.
My Mom just told the "whole" family to leave and told the nephews and nieces, that they were "scum" beneath her feet.
I went to see my sis a couple of days later, and I told her "not" to give it another thought. I told her, "From now on "only" give to me and Mom your "gifts".
Since then, or at sis's funeral this year, I haven't talked to any of my nephews or nieces.
I still have "all" sis's presents that she gave me and Mom. They will be cherished forever because I "know" how much time it took her in doing them.
I only make/give to the ones HE lays on my heart to do. My Mom and 5 siblings, B/H, oldest daughter's baby remembrance for her 2nd daughter, her 1st. daughter had her baby remembrance made by my s/i/l before I could ask the oldest daughter, and friends.
3 years ago, our youngest asked, all the adults, now including the 19 yr. old grandson, to draw names at Christmas, instead of buy individual like we had been. She said she got "tired" of all the "junk" she had gotten over the years, and, at the time she was engaged, her "Christmas budget", didn't go far enough for both families. She set the price of the gift at $50.00. So now we buy for the one name and ask for "hints" to what they want. The grand girls, 8 and 6, still get gifts from everybody, and "all" 3 adult daughter's, including b/f's and s/i/laws, 3 grand kids, and late sis's daughter, still get their "stockings."
And Gary, like others said on here, "if" the family member doesn't "do" crafts and such, they will "never" know what it takes in time, supplies, or enjoyment of giving from the "heart."

HAPPY STITCHING IN STITCHING LAND.

[Nachstenliebe]

I am blessed to have inlaws that are super creative. As such it's quite the norm (and more appreciated) to be given a handmade gift from that side of the family. I think if you want to make the ornaments and give them as a gift ~ do it. Maybe you'll start a new trend in your family

[felicity53]

Such a difficult situation.
I guess we have all recieved bought gifts we would not have chosen ourselves. I've always kept them. Ended up with lots of "junk" that I have recently donated to a charity shop. I thought I would feel guilty but I felt great.
At the same time I have spent hours stitching presents for people I know, never to recieve a thank you or ever to see them displayed. Selfishly I have now decided that 2014 will be a ME year, and everything I stitch will be for ME, and therefore will be treasured and appreciated!
At the end of the day, in your situation, it's their loss and if you feel the overwhelming desire to stitch some ornaments you can always send them to ME!