Internet dating

[Angel]

Has anyone else on here tried internet dating? See, I've been trying it on and off for a while now, but with no luck (till now I hope). At first I ended up with Matty, who I really liked and who really liked me, but he was incredibly and while I liked him, I was put off of him as a potential mate, even though he is still a very good friend. Then I met Gav who...well we got on like a house on fire for about a week and then we descended quite rapidly into bickering and neglect. And now I've met Chris, who seems absolutely lovely and really makes me laugh, and we're off on our second date tomorrow.

My point is, thus far, internet dating has been very short term and rather disappointing. I was wondering if anyone else had had better luck or if internet dating is only ever designed for serial daters. I mean Chris and I both say we want the same thing, but I am wondering.

And that's just the people I've ended up liking. For the most part it's made me want to slam my head into a brick wall because people are that bad. But, what would I do without it? I joined becuse, at first I worked nights, now because I live out in the middle of nowhere. I don't meet people easily.

[Nachstenliebe]

Well my mother in law found someone she really loves and their relationship is going great from what I hear. And then my best friend just started seeing someone she met online and that as well is going great.. I dunno.. I guess go into it thinking it won't be serious..and if it happens it happens
Faith

[pamelam]

My husband's nephew met a girl through internet dating and they are now married and have a little baby boy.

[Dazbo666]

We have two people at work who both use(d) internet dating at one point.

One guy had no luck whatsoever, just met what turned out to be a number of serial daters, who only seemed to be out for drinks, free meals and some nights out.

Another guy met 3 or 4 women over a matter of months, and eventually got on really well with one of them. He's been with her for less than a year, and they're getting married in April then moving to Brazil !!


My own experience wasn't internet dating, it was old fashioned pen-pals... I was a pen pal with my better half for about 6-8 months before we actually met. That was 16 years ago, and we're still very happy together

[coffee_freak]

that's how i met my husband! seriously. Match.com....i, at first, put an add up to see what types of guys contact me...most were jerks looking for "tail" but my husband's..sincere..and totally not the type of guy I date..which I decided was a good thing..lol.
and here I am, almost 9 years together..(counting the one year of dating, almost 8 of marriage)

[Kute Kitty]

I met my partner on the internet, I consider it just like meeting someone in the real world, nothing's guaranteed. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, actually I was trying to stay single for a while, but we met and got on so well it was untrue - then we met for real, and got on even better! I decided I wasn't going to let an opportunity pass me by out of stubbornness and the feeling that I had to stay single in order to rediscover myself and get over the breakup of my marriage, it was difficult at times because I had to do those things while in a relationship, but we've been together over 4 years now. Before him, I met other guys online who were just looking for a bit of fun. I've met guys in real life who were serious and guys who were just looking to fool around, so it's hardly different really.

[minij]

Although personally I have no experiance of internet dating, i agree with KK there will be those who are 'serial daters' and not genuine but that is the same if you meet someone at a party, in a pub etc. Just go with the flow and see how things develope

[burgundyice]

I met my OH through a chatroom, not a specific 'dating' site, and I wasn't looking for a boyfriend at the time. We emailed for around 6 months before meeting up and got on really well straight away, been together nearly 8 years and married for 4 in June
I'd be wary of the sites that are just for matching people up, how about chatrooms, music, hobbies etc sites, so you have something in common to begin with?

Louise

[Mabel Figworthy]

I tried a dating site about 9 years back, and found one or two real nutters (I didn't actually meet them -- writing was quite enough!) -- so that rather put me off. I met DH on the internet because we were both members of the Flanders & Swann forum -- a very friendly group who eventually decided to meet up in London (well, about 15 of us anyway). That's where I first saw DH face to face, we hit it off, then were penpals for 7 months before he came over to The Netherlands on a vintage car rally to meet up with me, and that was it for both of us .

What I mean to illustrate is, I think you can meet a serious partner over the internet, but I think it's easier if you meet on a site/forum/group that you both happen to be part of because it interests you, instead of a dedicated dating site.

It may be because although unreliable people can join dating sites just to find serial dates, I doubt anyone ever signed up to the Flanders & Swann forum (or any other interest group) for that purpose -- you're all there because you've got a shared interest, not because you're looking for a date.

[helbel]

I haven't done internet dating though have met most of my previous bf's over the net.

However for internet dating:

1. Don't take it too seriously
2. Expect to meet a lot of frogs
3. Don't e-mail for ages building up unrealistic expectations. If they sound ok meet for a short time in a public place. Agree to coffee/drink not dinner/film - if it goes well you can always continue on to dinner, if it goes badly you have a get out clause!

I know a number of people who've found someone special through this route (and often not the person they expected it to be either!) however they all approached it with good humour and no expectations.

[kell]

I've not used it myself, but my Dad met my Step-Mum through an internet dating site. THey got married a year ago past January and seem very happy together.

[Sarah Gixxer]

I met my Simon on MySpace. I wasn't looking for anyone at the time, I just fooled around with a couple of people on a casual basis. I was in the process of getting divorced and I got chatting to Simon as friends only. He came to meet me after we'd been emailing each other for about 3 - 4 months, still only as pals, but then two weeks after that we had our first date. That was in August 2006! Still together (obviously as I keep mentioning him in posts ).

Simon himself had actually tried a couple of proper dating sites though and not had any luck. He met two or three girls who he describes as "muppets" and "nutters". Having said that, the couple of people I met before him just as a bit of a laugh could also be described as "nutters". One was a serial MySpace picker-upper who I actually found out had a poor unsuspecting girlfriend as well. Needless to say he got found out in the end and the girl dumped him (good for her) and I never spoke to him again either.

I also ended up with a stalker who lived in Dublin (luckily a stretch of sea between us and he had no money to get across it!) He was 10 years younger than me and kept asking if I would dress up in a suit, go for a visit and let him call me "auntie". I blocked him and he set up a new account with a different name and contacted me again, but he used the same photo of himself! Muppet. I thought the whole thing was quite funny actually, but it does go to show you have to be pretty careful and vet people.

[Nachstenliebe]

I loved readng how a lot of you met the OH.
Faith

[maggs]

My son meet his future wife through an internet dating site. They are happily amrried now and have a buetiful daughter.

Its like anything you can stike gold or get a dud.

Good luck Angel.

[Lessa54]

I haven't done it myself but I have a friend who met her hubby through it (married 1 year now) and others who have had mixed experiences. From my friends' comments, I think the key rules are to pick your site carefully (try one that specialises in your interests/is run by a group you're a member of) and to persevere. Be clear in what you are looking for, give things a go, but just as you would if you met someone after a party, be realistic and don't be afraid to move on if it's not right for you.

[Wandatoo]

We met not through the Internet, but a newspaper 'Companions' ad. I was planning to write one, so read a few to get an idea of what to say. Then I put the newspaper in the recycling pile and tried to write an ad. Later I took the paper out again to reread one particular ad and decided to answer it. Next week it will be 16 years together.

I always tell my OH that I took him out of recycling . . .

[MaggieM1750]

My sister met her husband on Match.com.. the two of them couldn't have been better suited for each other. Their wedding gift to me was my own Match account. They paid for a year and made me promise to take it seriously. So, after she helped me with my account.. oh how I HATE writing about myself.. and we set up a photo session around her house and mine so I had various recent photos. I felt like a moron, but it did the job.. I am usually the one holding the camera so I didn't have many pics of myself.
I was so disappointed in the men out there and gave up on it for a while. I met quite a few men over the year my account was active. 2 or 3 a month I would say, but none that I dated more than twice, most I met just the one time, and who knows how many I chatted with but never met. A few of them were perfectly acceptable men, we just didn't have a connection. But the trolls.. ugh the trolls... I met too many of them and thats eventually why I quit. I did get something out of my year on Match at least- I now have a few good horrible date stories. It is unbelievable what some people consider acceptable behavior.
Little things in profiles would just turn me off.. like spelling and sentence flow. Spelling is not a judge of ones character, but I felt like your profile was your first impression.. you should take the extra second to click the spell check button before clicking the submit button. Same with sentence flow.. If profiles were hard to read, choppy, way too short or too vague I just passed them along.
I took time in filling out my profile, and wrote truthfully who I was and what I was looking for. I made mistakes in assuming they put similar effort into it as I did. I believed the things they wrote in their profiles.. one guy said he had read a book I had so I brought it up when we met and he had no clue what I was talking about.

It's been about 2 years since I have been off of Match, perhaps its time I try again. Maybe with them again, maybe with another site. I haven't had much luck meeting men the old fashioned way either.

[Sarah Gixxer]

I always tell my OH that I took him out of recycling . . .

[alinna]

My fiance found one of my blogs via a Google search six years ago. We chatted online for a bit and then met each other and got along really well. We were going to the same university at the time, and I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend since I was already seeing someone else. About 2 months later we went on a date.

I've never tried those dating sites though, and probably wouldn't - I'm somewhat paranoid about meeting random people from the internet. When I decided to meet my fiance in real life I had checked him out using my university's student directory to make sure he was actually a student and not some random person.

[XandraS]

My mum met her current partner on a dating site, that was 18 months ago now and they seem happy. Before she met this guys she'd been on a few bad dates, had a few bad online chats and even had some marriage proposals by e-mail

I met one of my boyfriends on a pagan Internet forum, think we dated for about a year.
So I guess as others have said, you can meet people in several different ways online.